Tips for the People-Pleasing Bride (or Groom)
November 13, 2008 by Katie
Filed under Just for the Bride, Little Tips
Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion. Just because you want to make the people you love happy does not mean you have to cover up what you think and feel. If you really don’t like orange as your main wedding color, but your mother-in-law to be keeps telling you it would make everything look even better, then just tell her the truth. Of course, you don’t have to be mean about it! Simply tell her something like, “I’ve given it a lot of thought and I really just think the color pink (or green or blue, etc.) would reflect our personalities more.” If she keeps talking up orange, you know you tried and don’t have to feel bad when you don’t use orange on your big day.
Don’t be afraid to put your foot down. It can be hard, it’s very true. But putting your “foot down” is something you need to learn sooner or later! Do you just plan to pay for an overpriced cake? Are you going to “just this once” let your mother decide which dress (or tux) you’ll buy (or rent) or what flowers you’ll use? What about wedding party members that don’t like the way you have the day scheduled? You’ve put a lot of time and effort into making your wedding day the way you and your love want it (we hope), so don’t let other people change your mind or make you second guess yourself. Put that pretty little foot down and say “NO”!
You can’t make all of the people happy all of the time. If you’re a people-pleasing person, you’ve hopefully already come to terms with this. You really can’t make everyone happy all of the time (even though you may try and try). It’s just not possible. All you can do … is do your best! Make the decisions you feel are right and stick to ‘em. If someone gets upset about a tiny detail, you did what you could and that’s that. Don’t let yourself feel bad about it!
You may regret or resent not fighting for what you want. If you don’t at least try to get what you want (within reason) for your wedding day, you may regret it. If you end up with flowers you didn’t like (but your mom did) and bridesmaids dresses that just weren’t that great (but your girls loved them) and your hair…well, let’s just say you can’t believe you look like this on your wedding day (but your stylist said it will be perfect), you may be overcome with disappointment - on one of the happiest days of your life. And the last thing you want to be thinking about as you walk down the aisle (or as you’re waiting at the end of it) is how you should have just said “No” to this or that or “Sorry, but we’re doing this instead”.
Bottom line : It’s your wedding. It’s true. If you and your man (or woman) are happy, then that’s what really matters.
-Don’t really feel comfortable stating your opinion or saying no? Hire someone to do it for you. That is just one of the many ways a wedding planner can come in handy. If you feel comfortable enough telling her (or him) what you do and do not like, she can help you get what you want and save you from putting up with those things that you don’t want.
-If there are a lot of people around when you’re trying to make a decision, it can get rough and tricky to say what you really want to say. For instance, if you’re meeting with your florist and mom, future MIL, and three of your BM are there (and they all want different flowers), ask if you can chat with the florist alone for a few minutes (or tell her you’ll call her back with the final order). This way, you can be honest without being afraid of hurting anyone’s feelings.
-Do some wedding planning alone or with only your future spouse. You can make decisions together. After all, the wedding is a reflection of the two of you.
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An Atlanta Bride on Fri, 14th Nov 2008 7:21 pm
Great Post!!
Laura on Wed, 19th Nov 2008 11:04 pm
So true about voicing your opinion. I came across a post today about spring 2009 wedding color predictions and would love to use the lavender. But it seems like a hard one to co-ordinage
and I can already imagine the conversations…. : )
http://www.betsywhite.com/flightsoffancy/index.php/2008/11/color-predictions-spring-2009/