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la ruche

Newly Engaged? Read This!

by AFS on January 3, 2010 · 0 comments

in Wedding Planners & Coordinators, Wedding Planning

Let me be among the first to congratulate you and your Beloved! You are making it officially official.

If you are one of the women who first freaked out or cried, and then immediately thought, “OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO NEXT?!” then welcome to the club. Nearly every newly engaged woman at some point will feel scared and excited at the very same time. So, what should you do after you tell your family and friends (and co-workers and neighbors and strangers at the bar)? Here’s a good place to start:

Step 1. Give yourself seven days – one FULL week – of not buying anything; of not thinking about how much money you’ll need to find to pay for the wedding; of not purchasing your dress. Give yourself one full week of being happy in your situation. Impulse purchases – even if you feel they have been “planned” for years – are likely to cause anxiety in the long-term.

Step 2. (This is a super important step.) BEFORE talking money with your parents and your partner’s parents, spend some quality time with each set of parents. By taking time to focus on your families you will bond over the promise of your future, and not over the stress of the money being spent.

Step 3. Now that your families are happy and on-board, it’s time to sit down with each set of parents and talk about the realities of the financial obligations of each family. Modern weddings often bring equal financial assistance from both sets of parents. However, if your partner’s family is more traditional, and if your family is not able to support the full cost of the wedding and reception (especially if there is food involved), then you will need to openly discuss with your partner the best way to broach the topic of conversation with your future in-laws.

It should be noted that reality often sets in, and many couples soon discover that their families are unable to provide the type of financial support to give them a “Dream wedding.” Please know that ‘by the numbers’ very few couples are fortunate enough to truly experience their ideal wedding… especially as our view of modern weddings is purely excessive and over-consumptive by nature. In the situations where there is not enough money to get what you think you want, it is best to remember one thing: You are not getting married to have a wedding. You are getting married because you are very much in love with your partner. If you are unable to have the wedding of your dreams, make yourselves a promise that as soon as you can you will go on a fabulous vacation, or perhaps have a rockin’ anniversary party for all of your family and friends! If it comes down to money and you absolutely have to have what you want, fore go the marriage and enjoy being engaged for as long as it takes.

Step 4. Now that you are aware of your financial situation, set a wedding date that makes financial sense. There is zero point in planning a wedding date that is too soon for your finances. If you do not have the money to pay for wedding vendors and services, then you should absolutely not be signing contracts because the legal ramifications are just too large and the risk too high.

Step 5. Find a qualified wedding planner. A wedding planner’s services will range from $1500-$25,000, depending on your financial situation and the level of hired talent, but you can be sure that the wedding planner will save you TONS of cash and time and frustration and confusion. It is logical to assume that if you are relaxed and excited during your engagement, then you will start your marriage off on the right foot.

Hope this helps. Enjoy your new life together!

Best,

Alisha Forrester Scott
La Ruche. event design studio.

You can contact Alisha with comments or questions by visiting http://www.enterlaruche.com.

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Marrying in 2010? Top 5 Vendors to Hire

by AFS on August 5, 2009 · 0 comments

in Resources & Checklists, Wedding Planning

There are plenty of reasons not to stop spending money; the biggest being our economy not being able to improve if consumers stop buying.

If you are set to marry in 2010 THANK YOU for doing your part.  Being smart about how you will spend your wedding money comes down to logic and timing. Capitalism leans heavily on supply and demand, and so in the spirit of saving you money, I offer you the Top 5 vendors that you should hire NOW for 2010 in order to avoid planning snafus and fiscal headaches (seen below in order of importance):

[ALWAYS BOOK YOUR WEDDING CONSULTANT FIRST. THEY WILL SAVE YOU MONEY AND HASSELL.]

  1. Book your ceremony and reception venue(s). Prices for many regularly expensive venues have hit rock bottom and so now is the time to book! If you think that waiting to put down your deposit will afford you deeper discounts you may end up scrambling to find a venue that has not already been taken for all of the best 2010 dates (especially weekends). Booking one year in advance is standard and recommended.
  2. Book your photographer and videographer. Just like venues, many photographers and videographers have either dropped their prices or are offering substantial economy-related discounts. If you ever wanted an upgrade in talent now is the time to find and book the vendors that will tell your story in images.
  3. Book your musician(s) and entertainment. With many musicians finding "day jobs," the pool of available musicians has decreased. First, book your ceremony musician(s) (since the ceremony is the most important part of your event). Then, your reception, and lastly your cocktail hour. If you are opting for an "iPod" vs. a DJ, then be sure to book a qualified sound engineer to hook up and test all of the sound equipment and sound levels.
  4. Book your Officiant. Last year I said to book your Officiant 2nd. However, since it has become common knowledge that anyone can perform your ceremony with a simple online ordination, there are more than enough qualified Officiants to go around. However, do not delay in your search, as the most personable and professional Officiants get booked fast and well in advance.
  5. Book your caterer. If you are working with a venue that requires you use a vendor that they have provided, then go ahead and skip to the ‘bonus’ item below since this entry will not apply to you. **Many caterers can handle up to 2-3 events simultaneously, but as we all know catering is an art form requiring a competent staff. Many of the catering companies that I have met disappoint in one way or another. From commuication and fair pricing to tasting and presentation, secure your catering company now.

BONUS

Book your florist. Many shops are struggling to stay open, and so now is the time to book for maximum ‘fee forgiveness.’  Shops will consider dropping their delivery fees and minimum order requirements, so be sure to ask.

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Arizona Brides-To-Be

by AFS on June 11, 2009 · 1 comment

in Contests & Giveaways, Green & Eco-Chic, Promotions

Today, while I was walking up and down the aisles of the Bridal Fashion Debut in downtown Phoenix, Arizona, I happened upon a booth that excited me to my core.  The booth’s sign read, "Goodwill Eco-Chic Wedding Campaign". This modern booth featured a dress rack holding at least a dozen gorgeous wedding gowns in many different shades and styles.

Long-story-short, after chatting with the booth’s residents I was ecstatic to find that the very Goodwill that I both donate to and purchase from had an offer that any bride-to-be would be crazy to ignore…

A FREE ECO-CHIC WEDDING! ("Reuse, Recycle, and Revitalize!")

If you live in the Phoenix-metro area and you are getting married, visit http://www.goodwillaz.org/ecochic and register to win.  This contest should especially titillate my D.I.Y. brides (think LIMITLESS design and decor opportunities).  Entries are being accepted from June 10 to July 10 so do not delay.

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Bride Beware: Wedding Decorations that you do not need

by AFS on April 17, 2009 · 0 comments

in Planning with the Pros, Receptions, Sweet Treats & Favors

Hello!

As a wedding consultant, let me first start by saying that I had a pretty good laugh a few days ago at the expense of the wedding consumer industry. After returning from the post office to retrieve my mail I started thumbing through a Spring wedding decorations catalog.  I flipped open to a page somewhere near the middle of the catalog, only to find the most ridiculous wedding decor item E-V-E-R. I will tell you about the item, but first, I would like to share with you something that makes me fundamentally angry.

My heart sinks a little each time I notice consumers (sadly, mostly brides) purchasing unnecessary items just because they have the words "Bride" or "Groom" imprinted on them, or because they are able to be "personalized".  In a perfect world brides would see past this marketing ploy, and would have more discipline than to purchase an item solely because it will allow the bride to see her name in writing.

Below you will find a Top 10 decorations you should never buy for your wedding, which in turn is a big BRIDE BEWARE when dealing with these potential wedding decorations.  Either because they are completely unnecessary, ridiculously extraneous in cost, or could simply give off the impression that you have no good sense whatsoever:

10. Rubber [fund-raising-esk] Bracelets. Remember a few years ago when rubber bracelets touting good causes were all the rage? Well, sadly, these bracelets have made their way into the wedding industry’s circle of consumerism.   If your aim is to make people wear your names for the evening, consider changing your aim.  The moment you are not looking the bracelets will end-up in the trash can.

9.  Personalized dance floor cling. This clear plastic item uses static electricity to (supposedly) stick to the dance floor. Sure, you can personalize this item with your names and a little design logo, but it is quite the waste of money considering that it does not light up for people to even notice it, and that people are going to be stepping all over it (and possibly slipping on it).

8.  Shaped [centerpiece] table mirrors. I know, I know…"but water and candlelight look so elegant with a reflection…"  Although you may believe that your table centerpieces will look better on top of a mirror, this decor element should just go away already as it is severely outdated.  (Not to mention that from a designers point of view all that it takes is one smudge or finger print to make it ugly.)

7.  "Take-out" [Chinese] guest gift boxes. Not only do these not stay properly shut (their plastic flaps are indignantly annoying), but most of these box types that on the market are completely non-biodegradable.  Save your money and go another route.

6.  Reusable wedding cameras. Let me be clear: it is a complete waste of money. Not only are you paying to develop film rolls, but the likelihood of you getting a good shot of something that you actually care about is very low.  Now, when I married (in 1997), this fad was just coming online, and so the novelty for guests had not worn-off. However, I can tell you that 100% – in the U.S. where wedding budgets are above $10,000 – this fad is dead.

5.  Wedding print toilet paper. (Not kidding) I have not had the pleasure nor experience of using wedding printed toilet paper, but I have seen and touched a sample of it.  It is basically a cheap 2-ply paper that uses colored ink on white paper to imprint wedding bells, initials, etc.  Sadly, when wet, I found that I was able to smear the colored ink.  (haha!)  :)   This could either be the funniest or the most ambivalently mortifying moment of a wedding.

4.  Chocolate fountain. Even as I type I am imagining hate mail, however, my personal experience is that the public’s fascination (and mess) associated with the chocolate fountain is over.  However, if you are adamant, please rent the fountain and do not buy. The quality of fountain which you are being rented is likely 10x better than the fountain that you would be purchasing.  Also, if you must…   my friend Michelle recently told me that the trick to making the chocolate in the fountain run smoothly is melted cocoa butter, added in with the chocolate pieces during the beginning of the set-up process.

3.  Napkin ring place card holders. Yes, you read that correctly. There are now products on the market that combine the functionality of the napkin ring and the way-finding of the place card holder.  If you are to the point in your budget where combining these two items seems necessary, consider going back through your guest list to cut-out some more of the ‘C-listers’.  (Same thing goes for Wedding bell place card holders.)

2.  Bride And Groom Wine Bottle Cover Set. You can dress up your bride, and you can dress up your wine, but you should not dress up your wine like a bride.  This item set comes complete with veil, dress, and tuxedo.  Unless you are using this idea for a gag gift, in which case carry on. :)

You ready for number one?  This is the item which had me rolling with laughter as mentioned at the beginning of my post.  Sigh…

1.  Personalized wedding cowbell. Enough said .

Other "Honorable Mentions"

Floral (silk or plastic) with dew drops
Specialty confetti
Tableware (cups, buckets, pails, plates) with sayings such as "Eat, drink, and be married"
Wedding design trash can cover
Wedding aprons
Ice cube molds
Banners
Bottle stoppers
Specialty luminary bags
Wineglass charms (this never works for groups larger than 25)
Take-away cake treat boxes
Personalized votive candle holders
Long-stemmed candles (they often look like plastic flowers on a fake stem and they are very, very messy)
"Wedding angel" anything (pins, bookmarks, jewelry)
Wedding cookie cutters
Bride and groom rubber duckies (as guest gifts)
Personalized golf tees or golf balls
Personalized wedding coasters
… you get the idea.

Alisha Forrester Scott of La Ruche. event design studio. is available by e-mail at: studio@enterlaruche.com.

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Cut vendor costs in the “new” (bad) economy

by AFS on March 26, 2009 · 0 comments

in Resources & Checklists, Wedding Planners & Coordinators, Wedding Planning

This post is meant to nudge consumers (hint, hint) to research their wedding vendors a little more than normal to take advantage of some of the positive sides of the tanked economy.

An open letter to the economy:

Although I cannot escape you as you insist on showing-up everywhere I get my information – television, radio, print, magazine – I would like to THANK YOU for giving me five ways to cut wedding vendor costs.

1.  VENUES (AKA event locations)

Although some venues will always cost "more" because of location, noteriety, or simple supply and demand, I am happy that you have motivated less-busy venues to give better discounts.  I understand that many of these venues may not be advertising these great discounts, but I know that all I have to do to find these venues is make some telephone calls.

2.  FLORAL

Out-of-season and imported floral will always be more expensive, but I am pleased that my local florists are giving great deals on certain varieties, with some even discounting their labor and delivery costs.

3.  DJ’s

With wedding budgets (and most other types of budgets!) being trimmed-back, I can appreciate that you have prompted even the most popular DJ’s to negotiate their typical $200/per hour (averaged) fees.

4. CATERING

Food costs are high, but the high cost of food has compelled many catering company’s to offer discounts on items such as: chaffing dishes, delivery charges, and set-up fees. These deals are getting so good that I can almost taste the wedding dinner!

5. RENTALS

Oh thank goodness! I rejoice at the new lower prices on chair covers and chair ties…and not the cheap stuff, either.  I am on Cloud 9 knowing that I can now save on even premium covers. My local rentals shop has even sent me a coupon for one free delivery. Yippee!

Enjoy the savings!

Alisha Forrester Scott of La Ruche may be contacted at studio@enterlaruche.com.

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The new (bad) economy: a guide to smarter event planning

by AFS on March 24, 2009 · 2 comments

in Planning with the Pros, Resources & Checklists

RULE #1: SET YOUR BUDGET BEFORE YOU START PLANNING

To all of those that have champagne taste on a Martinelli’s budget, the best thing that you can do is to set your budget FIRST.  Who among us hasn’t wanted more than what we can afford? If you put  realistic budgetary limits in place before you start planning you will save yourself heartache and frustration.

RULE #2: IF YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO PLAN AN EVENT and BUDGET, HIRE SOMEONE TO DO IT FOR YOU

There are already many reasons to hire a professional event planning, and being able to throw your event while staying within your means is another excellent one.  A good event planner will be able to purchase wholesale, use proven vendors and contacts, use space wisely, AND keep your budget.  It is worth it…trust me.

RULE #3: CONSIDER USING WHAT DECOR YOU ALREADY HAVE

Whether out or in a storage closet, often times you can create and build a lovely concept around the decor that you already possess.  Re-using your decor can potentially save you hundreds of dollars by utilizing the "small things" that you (and your budget) may have taken for granted or forgotten about all together. These types of often-forgotten decor include:

  • candles, candle holders, candle plates, etc.
  • lighting
  • linens (or sheets), place mats, napkins, coasters
  • silverware or flatware
  • art, photos, sculptures…items that you can create interesting centerpieces or stations with
  • tables, chairs, and other seating options

RULE #4: IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE AN ALL-NIGHTER

The reality is that the longer your guests stay, the more money it will cost you.  To put it bluntly:

  • If you are serving alcohol, after 2 drinks per person your costs can sky-rocket to about $11 per person per hour.
  • Same goes with food. The longer they are around, the more food they will need to consume.
  • Same goes with toilet paper and other household products.

Consider capping the night off near 10 PM, instead of 1 AM. Or, consider holding a lunch instead of a cocktail hour.

RULE #5: THE POT LUCK IS BACK "IN"

By coming-up with another way to spin the name "Potluck" you will be able to excite the interest of your guests’ friendly, competitive cooking sides. How many of us know others that would LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to show-off their cooking skills?  (I do!!!)  And, to be honest, who among us doesn’t like the idea of trying several dishes from several different Chefs? (I would!!!)

Call it a food tasting.  Call it a communal meal.  The potluck is SO "in", again.

RULE #6: HOLD A CHARITY EVENT, WITH 50% OF THE PROCEEDS GOING TO A LOCAL CHARITY

Tough times mean tighter wallets, but many good-natured folks would enjoy combining charity with a great event. Why not charge "x amount" per guest, but with the commitment that half of (or whatever percentage is left after the cost of the event is paid-off) the proceeds will go to "such-and-such" charity?

Pick a worth cause. Pick a worthy occasion. Pick this winner!

Alisha Forrester Scott of La Ruche can be reached by e-mail at: studio@enterlaruche.com.

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Budget Buster – A Wedding RSVP Nightmare

by AFS on March 24, 2009 · 1 comment

in Planning with the Pros, Resources & Checklists

A cautionary tale

Wedding #3 of our 2009 spring wedding season was beautiful. A year of planning happily ended on a high note, guests were happy, the couple was happy.  However, let’s rewind to four weeks before the wedding.

Of the 225 folks that the couple had invited, only 65-75% were "supposed to" RSVP with a yes – statistically-speaking, that is.  Imagine the financial horror – to the tune of nearly $10,000 more than was budgeted for – when…at final count…200 people RSVP’d.  Do the quick math…that is a nearly 90% response rate.

I’m not sure if this high response rate is partly due to the economy (and everyone wanting stuff for free), but FAIR WARNING: If you do not have it in your budget to seat and feed all of the folks on your invitations list PLEASE REVISE YOUR INVITATIONS LIST.

To those who may have parents partially or completely funding their wedding – whose parents may also have a large "invitation guest wish list" – give your parents this very important message:

  • You are welcome to invite whomever you want – since you are funding the wedding.
  • However, if you are to invite all that you wish to invite you will need to contribute "x amount" more money. Otherwise, we are not able to afford the wedding.

Plain and simple

Be honest with yourselves and your budgets or you risk getting bitten by the RSVP Fairy.

Alisha Forrester Scott of La Ruche can be reached for comments or questions at studio@enterlaruche.com.

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Planning a destination wedding: drawbacks

by AFS on March 1, 2009 · 2 comments

in Destination Weddings, Planning with the Pros, Resources, Weddings Around the World

Doing business should not be exhaustive, emotionally draining, or result in severe disappointment.  However, this was not at all the experience that my firm or my clients had during their one-week destination wedding to the Dreams Tulum Resort in Mexico.

I believe in giving honest feedback. I believe in providing intuitive Customer Service. I believe in letting-go of what you cannot control. With this said, I submit the following report as a "Buyer Beware" to travel agents who book destination weddings but especially on behalf of the consumers who book these trips with high hopes – often spending tens-of-thousands of dollars in trying to make the destination wedding experience memorable for their family and friends.

Again, this post is very specific to our (client and my [La Ruche] ) recent experience of a February 21, 2009, wedding that occurred at the Dreams Tulum Resort in Mexico.

Your travel agent and their role in booking a destination wedding

Rule #1: Your travel agent needs to be forthright in explaining their knowledge of the area and specific resort that you will be traveling to.

Being mindful of what some could potentially consider libel or another form of defamation, I will not be using names or business names. However, the travel agent for our particular destination wedding to the Tulum Dreams Resort in Mexico was not forthright.  At the time of booking the trip, the Bride and Groom and the Bride’s parents (who were paying for most of the trip) were under the impression that this travel agent had actually been to the resort.  This was likely due to the comments about the resort in the first person made by the travel agent (which I can confirm).

As it so happens – as was finally discovered while we were at the resort by the Bride and Groom and the Bride’s parents – our travel agent had zero first-hand knowledge of the resort. The Bride and Groom and their families felt that this late-discovered tidbit was very disappointing and affected the result of the destination wedding and of the decision that they may have made if they would know known this (pre trip purchase).

Rule #2: Your travel agent is NOT a wedding coordinator.

As a wedding coordinator we rely on the information which a travel agent can provide; in regards to resort contacts, timelines, restrictions, general resort information (layouts), and likely weather scenarios. Each of these items are extremely important to properly planning a wedding. In the context of wedding coordination for a destination wedding, resort contacts, restrictions, and weather scenarios are the most important.

Once La Ruche was hired by the Bride and Groom, the very first contact with the travel agent was not merely appalling. If I were to state that the travel agent was haughty, rude, had poor direct communication skills with the Bride and Groom, and had a threatening tone when she asked me (the hired wedding coordinator), "I’m curious, what exactly do you do?  I told [Bride and Groom] that I was able to plan their wedding."  Well, I wish I were exaggerating. The travel agent was wildly and preposterously off-base with her personal affirmation that she – being in a completely different industry with a completely different role – would be the cornerstone of the Bride and Groom’s wedding planning.

To her [travel agent's] credit, she boasts at least ten (10) years in the industry, and has likely assisted many destination wedding couples align their preferences with the resort of their choice. However, choosing the cake flavors and the flowers does not constitute calling oneself – or claiming oneself to be – a wedding coordinator. Needless to say, her claim was insulting to both the travel and the wedding coordination industries.

Rule #3: Confirm your transportation from the airport to your resort with your travel agent.

The Bride and Groom and their families arrived to the Cancun, Mexico, airport on Monday, February 16, 2009. Upon arrival it became immediately clear that the travel agent had failed to properly book transportation from the airport to the resort for the Bride and Groom, their two small children, and the Bride’s parents; who, incidentally as mentioned previously, were the ones paying for the entire trip.

Throughout the entire process the travel agent had said that she would have her cell phone on during the group’s travel times, however, the Bride’s father soon found that trying to reach her once this issue was discovered yielded the travel agents voice mail. The group was resigned to being forced to book a private shuttle bus by paying cash out of their pockets to get to the resort.

Rule #4: Travel Insurance will not cover anything that the destination resort does wrong.

Long story short, if something goes wrong at the resort and it doesn’t involve an injury, theft, or transportation issue, you are not getting your money back without a very big fight.

The resort is M.I.A. for over 60-days. Why won’t the resort write us back?

The resort’s wedding staff – had up until October 2008 – communicated well via e-mail.  Communication by phone would have meant international long-distance rates for everyone.  NOT ONE E-MAIL WAS RESPONDED TO – NOR WAS ANY EXPLANATION GIVEN – FOR OVER 60 DAYS IN OCTOBER OR NOVEMBER 2008.  I contacted everyone I could think of: the Dreams Sales Team, the Dreams main office…anyone with an e-mail address or toll-free telephone number.

I was becoming desperate. I contacted the travel agent to explain the situation, and she responded by giving me an e-mail address to someone that I had never heard of at the resort. It was worth a try.

In December 2008, "that someone" that we had never heard or worked with finally e-mailed us back. We soon found out that our new resort contact was not even a resort wedding coordinator. The wedding coordinator we HAD been working with – Landy Cahum – handed-off our file to an assistant.   Until we reached the resort we never again got to work directly with or ask questions to a resort wedding coordinator. This lack of proper communication proved to be devastating to the wedding day details.

Note: On the last day of my time at the resort I found out why Landy Cahum (or anyone else at the resort for that matter) had been M.I.A. for that two month period.  Apparently, the resort had some permitting issues and had been shut-down for the whole of October and November 2008. Now, this still does not excuse why – once the resort opened again – Landy failed to EVER get back to us, again.  Upon my return from the trip I told the travel agent about this discovery about the permitting issues. Her response was that "…yes, she had heard that."  I felt disappointed that the travel agent had at some point heard this information but failed to let us know.

Trying to plan the details and how it did not matter

During the planning process our Bride and Groom requested several requests which were in addition to the regular resort wedding package:

1.  We would be providing our own canopy altar instead of using the resort’s standard four-wooden-post canopy

2.  We asked for a specialty cake (3-layers, 3-flavors, individually decorated then stacked)

3. We asked that the Bride’s and bridesmaid’s floral contain no roses, be of specific colors, and be made to include one (1) specific variety (orchids). We were to provide materials (upon my arrival), including peacock feathers, that were to be used for all bouquets.

4. Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers were to be of the same varieties as were the bridesmaids bouquets.

5. We were to provide floral materials to the resort (which would then be given to the off-site florist) to be used in all floral arrangements.

6. We provided instruction as to how to construct the boutonnieres.

7. We wished for the guitarist to play specific songs for the ceremony. We provided this list to the resort 3-weeks before the wedding, to which they – on two occasions – confirmed that this was possible.

8. We asked that musicians (included in the package) played during dinner.

9. We were bringing damask chair ties which were to be used on the ceremony guest chairs, and then moved and used for the wedding dinner.

Preparations are under way…so we think.

As mentioned above, we were assigned to an assistant resort wedding coordinator. Basically, someone that had no input or decision-making power, or the intuition necessary in informing us of any possible roadblocks to getting our requests properly met.

Through our assistant resort contact, the resort required that we complete several forms, including an event order which would layout the specifics of our requests (as shown above). The resort required that we return the form by January 15, 2009 – a little over one month before we arrived to the resort.  All forms were returned including photos and descriptions of what we had requested (you know…just in case the language-barrier would become an issue).  We headed down to the resort feeling good about having completed our resort event order.

A resort that did not know anything about us

In order of occurrence, we should have known that there would be major wedding day issues when:

  • A new and different resort contact – a wedding coordinator unbeknownst to anyone (even the travel agent) – was assigned to our event. This wedding coordinator had literally just been handed our file, and knew nothing of our previous correspondence, requests, or concerns.
  • Upon their arrival the Bride and Groom were notified that there would be two other weddings occurring that day, and not two total wedding as we were previously led to believe.
  • The Bride and Groom were notified that – although the previous resort contact had said that there would be no problem in having 3 different flavors for the 3 cake layers – that the were no longer allowed to do this. The Bride and Groom had to choose one (1) flavor…which would have been fine except this was the first that they were hearing about it.

We asked for a specialty cake (3-layers, 3-flavors, individually decorated then stacked) No dice. :(

  • The pricing for the dance floor went up from $600 to $800 without notice. (I was later able to negotiate $660.)
  • Upon my arrival to the resort (the day before the wedding) our newly assigned resort wedding coordinator, Natalia, looked at me in puzzlement, confusion, and concern and asked me, "Why [hadn't we] told them that we were providing materials for the floral order?" We had

We were to provide floral materials to the resort (which would then be given to the off-site florist) to be used in all floral arrangements. No dice. :(

  • During the Friday night wedding rehearsal (the night before the wedding), Natalia told the Bride and Groom that the the guitarist that they had hired ($300 for 45-minutes) would be unable to play the songs which we had requested 3-weeks before. They were forced to select a few Beatles’ songs.

We wished for the guitarist to play specific songs for the ceremony. We provided this list to the resort 3-weeks before the wedding, to which they – on two occassions – confirmed that this was possible. No dice. :(

The day of the wedding

On the resort’s daily roster we were merely "Wedding #3" for the day, and out of this realization it is likely that the incorrect floral, cake, and music orders which were to follow were borne.  More about this soon.

At noon sharp I met on the beach with Natalia (our newly assigned resort wedding coordinator) and some laborers to put together the canopy which we had shipped down.  At 1:30 PM, under "unseasonably windy" conditions [or so the resort told me then], we took down the canopy – even after trying to reinforce it – because I did not want to imagine what would happen if the canopy were to fall during the ceremony. Imagine the restraint I had when Natalia asked, "Why did you not tell us that you were bringing this [canopy]?  You have used our time that we did not know we had to use."  That had been our number one request. We had told them and had even asked them if there could be any complications with using our own canopy. :(

We would be providing our own canopy altar instead of using the resort’s standard four-wooden-post canopy .   No dice. :(

Floral was delivered in the early afternoon. Despite our request that "No roses please", ALL of the arrangements contained roses.  The Bridesmaids’ bouquets were made only of roses, and contained none of the materials which we had provided (peacock feathers, etc.).  The Bride’s bouquet did contain the right color of flowers, but had been so shoddily made using substandard floral materials (florists foam, plastic container, etc.), that it was literally falling apart during the ceremony.

We asked that the Bride’s and bridesmaid’s floral contain no roses, be of specific colors, and be made to include one (1) specific variety (orchids). We were to provide materials (upon my arrival), including peacock feathers, that were to be used for all bouquets. No dice. :(

The ceremony was to begin at 5 o’clock. At 4:40 PM – despite 40-minutes of phone calls and waiting – the resort had not yet picked-up the decorations for the wedding and the wedding dinner in the hotel room.  I was desperate and was supposed to be in position to officiate the ceremony. Our saving grace was that the ceremony area had not yet been completely set-up by the resort, and some members of the wedding party were still getting ready.

Literally just before the wedding started Natalia came over to dispense the corsages and boutonnieres. One word: laughable.  Not only was the order incorrect, but the cheesy wrist corsages (we had requested pin-back lapel corsages) looked ridiculous.  The materials which we had provided were used in the boutonnieres, but had literally been stuck-into the flower as an afterthought.

Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers were to be of the same varieties as were the bridesmaids bouquets
We were to provide floral materials to the resort (which would then be given to the off-site florist) to be used in all floral arrangements
We provided instruction as to how to construct the boutonnieres. No dice. :(

At least the ceremony was a "10"…emotionally-speaking.

After the ceremony I RAN over to the cocktail hour to set-up before the wedding party arrived for the cocktail hour. It was still "unseasonably windy" and so we could not use any flame, nor any of the paper products (seating assignments, guest scrapbook project) that we had intended on using.  Of course the resort is not to blame for the wind! However, the resort is certainly to blame for the outdoor lighting not having yet been installed, and for the mariachi band (which we had requested play during dinner) arriving and beginning to play before seating for dinner even began.

We asked that musicians (included in the package) played during dinner. :( No dice.

At this point I am defeated.  It is obvious that we have zero control.  I press on putting on my best fake smile hoping that the wedding dinner would go well, and that the reception would be fun and memorable for everyone.

The next (but not final) issue occurred when Natalia disappeared, and the damask chair ties were never brought over to be used for the wedding dinner.

We were bringing damask chair ties which were to be used on the ceremony guest chairs, and then moved and used for the wedding dinner. No dice. :(

At last, it is time for the cake cutting…only the cake is nowhere to be found.  Natalia was still M.I.A., and the wait staff was awaiting her instruction to bring the cake out. Cut to the cake being brought-out…

As the cake is being brought into the light the Bride and her mother gasp. I giggle out of sheer surprise.  I briefly meet with the Bride’s mother and with the Bride, and it is official: the cake is a big joke.  Now, I am a realistic person.  My expectations are not sky-high.  I am reasonable and willing to concede if a few very minor points to executing a wedding were to go awry, but this…well…took the cake. The cake looked like a building.  A 3-story building complete with little frosting windows.  You know those little frosting scallops that grandma’s put on little girl’s birthday cakes? Well, we had those, too.  The best looking part of the cake was the knife service set which I had brought.  Keep in mind that because we had 32 guests, the resort was charging us $8/per person for each head over 20 guests. This crazy cake was costing us $96 (in addition to the pricing the resort rolled-into our package).

We asked for a specialty cake (3-layers, 3-flavors, individually decorated then stacked). :( No dice.

It was official: the resort definitely owed us a refund for floral, for cake, for musicians that weren’t informed that we had requested special songs.  Before I left that evening – defeated by an "all-inclusive" resort, I found Natalia and announced that we would be needing a refund. She was actually shocked, and asked me to phone her on Monday morning (a few hours before my departure) so that we could talk more.

Monday morning is a disappointing blur.  With my airport shuttle leaving at 11:15 AM, I am failing to reach anyone in the resorts wedding department in order to set-up a meeting.  I could not get a call-back: not from Landy (the "head boss" who had ultimately ditched us in November 2008 and had not talked to us since); not from Natalia (who was conveniently in a meeting all morning). Finally, at about 10:15 AM I get a phone call in my room where I had been busy packing-up all of the sad decorations that were unable to be used effectively because of the "unseasonable wind".  Remember the assistant to the wedding planner that we had been handed-off to in November 2008? Well, she was the one calling inviting me to discuss our needs.

30-minutes later I had finished meeting with the assistant. Our list of demands was simple: the resort would not make any money off of the cake, the floral, or the mariachi.  (After all, we did not specifically know that it was the florist’s or the mariachi’s fault. There was no way for us to confirm.)  Our demands were met, signatures were gathered, and I made my airport shuttle. I was headed home with a very different perspective then what I had come with.

In conclusion

If you have read this far – please protect yourself by adhering to the following guidelines:

1. Consider having your destination wedding in an English-speaking area

2. Ask your travel agent this specific question, "Have you ever been to this resort?"

3. Ask your travel agent for referrals of past clients who have married at the same resort, in the area, or at the same brand of resorts in which you are staying. If they cannot provide these referrals save your time and energy by finding a travel agent with this experience.  Once you get the referrals be sure to contact them and ask them about specifics, including rating both their destination wedding experience and their travel agent.

4. Consider purchasing a wedding insurance policy to cover things which your travel insurance does not cover. (If spending $10K or more I always recommend insuring your event no matter what.)

5. If you have decided to get married at a non-English speaking destination, consider not planning for anything  "special" or "custom" to happen. The liklihood of getting what you want lowers substantially if language is a barrier.

Please note that this was not our first time planning a destination wedding; rather it was our first time planning a destination wedding in a non-English speaking location with a travel agent who had not experienced the resort first-hand. Keep in mind that our Bride and her family spoke fluent Spanish, and that we still had these issues with the resort.

I truly hope that the results of this wedding are not typical of the "regular" Dreams Tulum weddings, however:

Buyer Beware of having your wedding at Dreams Tulum, or any of the other Dreams resorts.

Buyer Beware of hiring travel agents who are truly difficult, have poor communication skills, poor follow-up skills, and are not fully informed about the resort conditions in which they are sending their clients into.

You can reach me at studio@enterlaruche.com for more information about this post.

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Wedding Freak-outs

by AFS on January 24, 2009 · 1 comment

in Just for the Bride, Little Tips

Writing about Brides freaking-out might seem taboo, but to a wedding planner who cares about you :) I feel that it might be important to talk about.  Why I am inspired to write this post?  Well, first, here at La Ruche we are in the midst of prepping to be filmed for the television show, Bridezilla, with clients Kathryn and Keith.

Secondly, right now in Arizona we are in the midst of "wedding season". The big bridal show just happened, many of the newly engaged women are hunting for the best deals, and at La Ruche we are walking many couples through the final stages of wedding day preparation.

With this said, I DO think that it is natural and many times very gratifying to freak-out. Okay…maybe not freak-out per se, but to at the very least put your foot down and stand-up for yourself.  Below is a quick mini-guide on to how to freak out when you need to freak out, and when to know if you’re freaking-out about the right thing.

DO freak-out on someone or some vendor if or when:

  • Your vendor increases your pricing from the contracted rate . A deal is a deal, so gently remind them of their obligation.   HINT: Do NOT use the word "legal" or "legally" when talking to a vendor as this type of serious banter can create huge problems later-0n.
  • Your Maid or Matron of Honor (M.O.H.) or Bridesmaid complains about her dress. Remind her that you do like the dress and that you hope that she can support you. Let her know that her complaining does not help, it just creates friction. If you are related to your M.O.H. or Bridesmaid ask them to be positive on your behalf. If your M.O.H. or Bridesmaid is complaining about the cost of the dress, do some fact-finding to see what they believe a reasonable amount to pay for the dress is.  If finances is a real concern for them, consider offering to pay the difference of what they cannot.
  • Your fiancee is absent during the planning process. Although many brides will agree that the complexity and details of the wedding may be more for the bride and less for the groom, that does not mean that it is appropriate for your fiancee to bow-out when planning discussions begin. I often tell engaged couples at wedding consultations that if one of you seems disinterested in the process it is likely because there are terms and timelines that aren’t being properly explained, explored, or understood. If you have an ongoing issue with your fiancee being involved, perhaps it is time to take a step back – without precondition – and find out what the real issue may be. There is no sense in getting married if you are dragging your fiancee to the alter.
  • Your financial backers create specific conditions with their financial support. It may not be worth the sadness and heartache caused to you (and your wedding planner!) to plan a wedding that will soon be resented because of conditions that some families place on their financial support of a couple. If you know that you will be planning a wedding for others and not based upon your and your fiancee’s desires, consider eloping. Not kidding. (You would NOT be surprised at the devastation and chaos that this type of conditional financial support creates.)

DO NOT freak out on someone or some vendor if or when:

  • You are on your period. This probably goes without saying (because you likely know yourself well by now), but trust me…waiting until the menstrual cycle crazies are over will 100% for sure calm you down.  If you feel yourself about to call "so-and-so" to give them a good tongue lashing, instead simply write down the issues that you have with "so-and-so" and follow-up on the issue in a few days.  If the issue cannot wait, ask your fiancee or your best friend to hear you out and determine the best course of action.
  • You feel stress. Many times the endless knit-picking – especially to your fiancee – can send the wrong message. Instead of conveying that you are very happy to be getting married but that you are just stressed about "such-and-such", when you knit-pick and are generally morose or negative it sends EVERYONE the message that you wish you were not having to go through this experience. Instead of complaining out loud, consider practicing discipline and write a letter instead. The letter can be written to yourself – simply to complain – but after it is written you may actually feel better having expelled some of your negative energy. Even better, consider burning the letter after you write it and starting a list of the things that need to happen in order for your issues or worries to be resolved.
  • You don’t have enough money. This is tricky because nearly everyone I know wants finances to be private, but when the money is tight or simply isn’t available, complaining about your financial situation to whomever happens to be listening sometimes accidentally happens. Instead of allowing outsiders into your very personal financial situation, consider taking an honest "from-the-top-down" approach to the most expensive items on your wedding list. You may find that you really don’t need the personalized water bottles, bubbles, or specialty linens after all.

I am soooooooooooooo not a relationship expert; I am an event planner.  I am certainly not condoning calling-off weddings, Bridezilla moments :) or creating lasting family problems.  I simply wanted to put into plain terms some of the real issues that may arrise and what to do about them when they happen.

Best,
Alisha Forrester Scott, Owner
La Ruche. event design studio.

Alisha can be reached by e-mail at studio@enterlaruche.com

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Making the most of your event catering bill

by AFS on January 2, 2009 · 1 comment

in Decor & Event Design, Inspiration and Style, Little Tips, Receptions, Resources & Checklists, Wedding Planning

Believe me, as an event planner I have seen that it is EASY to blow through $20,000+ by feeding (and giving alcohol to) 185+ people. For privileged couples this type of budget allowance is available. But, for those unable or unwilling to shell out that much money, may I suggest the following tips:

  • Understand the correlation between the cost of catering and the number of mouths that you feed. Although the ‘quality’ of food that you serve your guests will increase or decrease the cost of catering for your event, you must first understand that the number one factor for enormous food bills is number of mouths that you are feeding.  If you are planning on inviting 100 guests to your reception then you need to plan to feed those 100 people.

If after doing the numbers with your caterer you do not have the funds to feed everyone on your invitees list, then it is time to re-evaluate your guest list. When it comes down to it, if you don’t have the money you don’t have the money. There is nothing to be ashamed about. However, you will need to modify your list to include only the most important persons.

"But we HAVE to invite everyone on our list to the reception!" Not true. Consider throwing a party where hors d’oeuvres and drinks can be served. When it comes down to it, a big reason that hurt feelings happen may be because people want to have an opportunity to share in your moment and in your joy. Creating a moment for those that you cannot afford to have at the reception is perfectly acceptable.

  • Go heavy on the hors d’oeuvres . Although you may be serving a meal at the reception, consider adding a one-hour long cocktail party to allow guests to quench their post-ceremony hunger. Guests that eat before dinner will eat smaller portions and are less likely to go back for second portions. Go "fancy" and have butlered hors d’oeuvres passed to the guests, alongside "do it yourself" hors d’oeuvres stations.
  • Filler, filler, Filler. Filler foods are foods that fill stomachs fast and for little money.  Have you ever eaten at a restaurant that first serves bread? Bread is an excellent filler. As for class, try using an exotic pasta, bruschetta + toppings, and other such foods that will take-up room in a guest’s stomach. Another helpful tip is to have the filler foods waiting at guest tables for the guests, so that they can get started with their eating before the food line opens or wait staff begins their service.
  • Control your guests’ portions. Even (and especially) if you are offering a buffet, ask your caterer (or volunteers) to stand behind the foods to dole-out portions. Portion control is an easy way for you to save big dollars on large amounts of food that would otherwise not be consumed because most guests would not eat so much unless it were free. :)
  • Post-dinner pickins. Especially when serving guests alcohol you may wish to consider erecting a few small hors d’oeuvres stations posted throughout the ceremony space. Guests that are dancing and drinking are likely to search the venue for a few crackers and cheeses, fruits, or sweets to munch on. As a bonus, giving guests reason to munch will allow for [slightly] less alcohol consumption. Keep in mind that for convenience sake you may not want to serve foods that require refrigeration or constant heating. (Food poisoning guests = icky.)
  • Plan for the staff gratuity. In many situations the gratuity for the wait staff, bartenders, and food captains will be directly added to the food bill that you endorse from the caterer or venue. However, some companies will allow you to add-in your own gratuity based upon your experience. In either case make a decision that you are going to plan for the staff gratuity instead of being shocked or put-off by it. After all, the staff gratuity helps the people behind the wait staff uniforms to feed their own families.

Happy eating!

Best,
Alisha Forrester Scott, Owner
La Ruche. event design studio.

You can e-mail AFS at: studio@enterlaruche.com

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