Nobody Moves and Nobody Gets Hurt

So, you have the weight of the wedding world on your shoulders, not to mention the expectations of family and friends, and best of all, the in-laws. One more delay in gown alterations, one more meeting with the caterer, one more critique of the wedding invitation, one more late vendor appointment. What’s a bride (or groom) to do?

STOP and take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay.

The first thing you MUST realize about your perfect day is that no matter how much you have to do, or force others to do for you, there are some things that you just can’t control. Maybe the flowers from South America aren’t growing as beautifully as usual from certain pesticides. Maybe the company that your baker gets its fondant from is running low on its special sugar. There are so many things that you can’t make happen or keep from happening. But there is hope! Realizing this important bit of information can help you prepare yourself to roll with the punches. Take things as they come and then think of your options, which is the second thing you should do to keep calm in those stressful wedding situations.

That’s right! You do have options. Believe it or not, your “wedding day vision” can be carried out a number of different ways. Perhaps your rental company is out of ivory cloth napkins, the ones you had your heart set on, but they do have more then enough cream napkins. Try them out and see what the cream looks like on the place settings before flipping out and threatening to rip up your contract. Maybe the place you had always dreamt of having your reception is already booked on the date you want to get married (which is much too important to change). Take the opportunity to look around and see what the area venues have to offer. You might just find a place you like much better, or has more to offer. The best part in all of this? No one will know (unless you complain to them) that you have to go to plan B or switch to choice C. Your guests will only see the final product, not all the little bumps in the road along the way.

Another thing you should pay special attention to is your organization. I find that what scares a lot of couples is that they feel like they are forgetting something or they are worried because they think things won’t be finished in time. Staying on top of your organizational game will help you to relax and reassure you that you’ve got a good grip on things. How do you stay organized? Let me count the ways! Surly you have some sort of wedding planning checklist. Create a special calendar with your tasks on it and write when they are “due”. Then take yourself seriously. Don’t think to yourself, “Oh, the invitations can wait another week”. If you need to have your invites ordered by the 7th of June, then make sure they are ordered by the 7th of June! Or if you already have a planner/organizer that contains your entire life (like me) get a special pen (try picking one that’s one of the colors you’re using in your wedding) and write in all the tasks with that pen. That way you can easily see wedding-related tasks and have less of a chance of skipping over them. In the end, do whatever you need to stay organized. We all have our different ways, do what works best for you!

Although there are other things you can do to help stay calm and relaxed during the planning process, here is the last one we’ll talk about today. Don’t forget the reason all of this planning and excitement is taking place! You’re getting married to the love of your life, the person you will spend the rest of your life with! That shouldn’t stress you out at all. If you’re feeling weighed down by wedding things, take a day or two off to just relax with your future spouse. No wedding planning. No post-wedding plans. No work. Nothing stressful. Do something the two of you enjoy together and just let yourselves rest. The time together should help you stay attached and remember the reasons why you’re getting married.

Bottom line? Hire a wedding planner. Okay, okay, so I have a biased opinion, but lets be honest. Planning a wedding can (and should!) be fun. If you’re feeling stressed or just don’t know what to do, hiring a planner might just be the thing for you. A good planner should be able and willing to do just about anything wedding-related for you. Of course, there is a cost involved, but it is well worth it for piece of mind.

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