Writing about Brides freaking-out might seem taboo, but to a wedding planner who cares about you I feel that it might be important to talk about. Why I am inspired to write this post? Well, first, here at La Ruche we are in the midst of prepping to be filmed for the television show, Bridezilla, with clients Kathryn and Keith.

Secondly, right now in Arizona we are in the midst of "wedding season". The big bridal show just happened, many of the newly engaged women are hunting for the best deals, and at La Ruche we are walking many couples through the final stages of wedding day preparation.

With this said, I DO think that it is natural and many times very gratifying to freak-out. Okay…maybe not freak-out per se, but to at the very least put your foot down and stand-up for yourself. Below is a quick mini-guide on to how to freak out when you need to freak out, and when to know if you’re freaking-out about the right thing.

DO freak-out on someone or some vendor if or when:

• Your vendor increases your pricing from the contracted rate . A deal is a deal, so gently remind them of their obligation. HINT: Do NOT use the word "legal" or "legally" when talking to a vendor as this type of serious banter can create huge problems later-0n.
• Your Maid or Matron of Honor (M.O.H.) or Bridesmaid complains about her dress. Remind her that you do like the dress and that you hope that she can support you. Let her know that her complaining does not help, it just creates friction. If you are related to your M.O.H. or Bridesmaid ask them to be positive on your behalf. If your M.O.H. or Bridesmaid is complaining about the cost of the dress, do some fact-finding to see what they believe a reasonable amount to pay for the dress is. If finances is a real concern for them, consider offering to pay the difference of what they cannot.
• Your fiance is absent during the planning process. Although many brides will agree that the complexity and details of the wedding may be more for the bride and less for the groom, that does not mean that it is appropriate for your fiancee to bow-out when planning discussions begin. I often tell engaged couples at wedding consultations that if one of you seems disinterested in the process it is likely because there are terms and timelines that aren’t being properly explained, explored, or understood. If you have an ongoing issue with your fiancee being involved, perhaps it is time to take a step back – without precondition – and find out what the real issue may be. There is no sense in getting married if you are dragging your fiancee to the alter.
• Your financial backers create specific conditions with their financial support. It may not be worth the sadness and heartache caused to you (and your wedding planner!) to plan a wedding that will soon be resented because of conditions that some families place on their financial support of a couple. If you know that you will be planning a wedding for others and not based upon your and your fiancee’s desires, consider eloping. Not kidding. (You would NOT be surprised at the devastation and chaos that this type of conditional financial support creates.)

DO NOT freak out on someone or some vendor if or when:

• You are on your period. This probably goes without saying (because you likely know yourself well by now), but trust me…waiting until the menstrual cycle crazies are over will 100% for sure calm you down. If you feel yourself about to call "so-and-so" to give them a good tongue lashing, instead simply write down the issues that you have with "so-and-so" and follow-up on the issue in a few days. If the issue cannot wait, ask your fiancee or your best friend to hear you out and determine the best course of action.
• You feel stress. Many times the endless knit-picking – especially to your fiancee – can send the wrong message. Instead of conveying that you are very happy to be getting married but that you are just stressed about "such-and-such", when you knit-pick and are generally morose or negative it sends EVERYONE the message that you wish you were not having to go through this experience. Instead of complaining out loud, consider practicing discipline and write a letter instead. The letter can be written to yourself – simply to complain – but after it is written you may actually feel better having expelled some of your negative energy. Even better, consider burning the letter after you write it and starting a list of the things that need to happen in order for your issues or worries to be resolved.
• You don’t have enough money. This is tricky because nearly everyone I know wants finances to be private, but when the money is tight or simply isn’t available, complaining about your financial situation to whomever happens to be listening sometimes accidentally happens. Instead of allowing outsiders into your very personal financial situation, consider taking an honest "from-the-top-down" approach to the most expensive items on your wedding list. You may find that you really don’t need the personalized water bottles, bubbles, or specialty linens after all.

I am soooooooooooooo not a relationship expert; I am an event planner. I am certainly not condoning calling-off weddings, Bridezilla moments or creating lasting family problems. I simply wanted to put into plain terms some of the real issues that may arrise and what to do about them when they happen.

Best,

Alisha Forrester Scott, Owner

La Ruche. event design studio.

Alisha can be reached by e-mail at studio@enterlaruche.com

I want to focus on a topic that is not discussed often, if at all – preparing your Bridal Suite. If you can imagine a wedding day filled with non-stop action and passion, tears, and excitement, you can then imagine the "crash" that many couples feel once they leave the reception to head back to their Bridal Suite for their first night together as a new couple. This post is dedicated to making your overnight stay "post-wedding" a comforting success. If you are unable to prep by completing the tasks described below, perhaps you can ask a trusted friend or family member not in the wedding party to accommodate.

During your planning phase, consider the following questions and suggestions and how they will relate to your post-wedding overnight accommodations experience:

What will you eat? You may have just spent eight to ten hours looking and acting perfect, and perhaps you did not feel like or did not get a chance to eat at your own reception. You’ll likely feel like consuming something light, something healthy, something without sugar or caffeine. Consider packing a meal to have waiting in the room, or better yet pre-order room service with your ideal meal. Remember, indulge yourselves…you don’t have to eat the same thing if you don’t want to! If all else fails (or you forget to plan this part) you can always just order in pizza or Chinese and be less formal. Just make sure that you are able to find napkins and plates.

What will you drink? First, something hydrating, then perhaps something soothing. Whether a cup of tea or a night cap, have your favorite beverages and the proper equipment (ice, cups/glasses, tea, etc.) waiting for you in your room. Keep in mind that if you order alcohol from the hotel bar you can expect a price mark-up of literally at least 100% – A $35 magnum of Grey Goose will be marked-up as high as $100 – so plan accordingly.)

What will you listen to or watch? (Hint: not TV)…but maybe a movie you both like playing in the background? (Will you need a DVD player?) What if you want to listen to a favorite CD, or what if you have packed along your mp3 player and some little speakers (will you need your charger or batteries?)?

What will you want to smell? Soothing scents can enhance nearly everyone’s experience, no matter the situation. Consider bringing along some scented candles, incense, or room fragrance. Soothing scents such as lavender or vanilla will help your post-wedding transition.

What will help you to relax? Perhaps your idea of relaxation is popping open a beer, or perhaps you are anticipating sore feet and muscles. To relieve a day’s worth of stress consider scheduling an in-room double massage for you and your sweetie. Believe me, there are companies that offer this in-room service – be sure to ask your concierge for a referral. (Don’t feel bad if you both find yourselves totally unwound and napping during the massage!) If a professional massage is out of the question, give each other a little rub-down (at least your feet!).

What type of lighting is present? Candlelight is most flattering, white (holiday) lights are magical. Whatever your lighting preference consider using dramatic lighting. There is a chance that the room you are staying in has adjustable lighting (which means no extra work for you), so be sure to ask. Important: if you are going to bring candles make sure that you bring candle plates or holders to catch the melted dripping wax…you don’t want to have to pay for room damage. Also, make sure that they have a fire extinguisher in the room (or at least nearby) for unforeseeable emergencies.

What will you want to wear? If you have packed something sexy to ‘play’ in, don’t forget to pack something new and comfortable to sleep in. Sleeping in your ‘everynight’ pajamas is not exciting, so consider purchasing a new pajama set…it will make your first married nights sleep a huge and special success.

Take a nap. Seriously. Whoever "invented" sex immediately following post-wedding may have been unwilling to discuss the sheer exhaustion which tries to infiltrate most newly married couples bedrooms. Before you both completely unwind for the evening, consider setting an alarm or scheduling a wake-up call with the front desk, and then settle down for a nice mid-sized nap. Once you wake-up you can shower or bathe and then begin the next phase of your night together.

The formal wake-up call . Perhaps you have brunch with your family scheduled for the next morning, or perhaps you are both going to get a massage. Be sure to call the front desk for a wake-up call, or be sure to pack and bring your own alarm to set, or have one of your friends call your hotel room. You won’t want to oversleep if you have plans for the next morning.

Do Not Disturb (DND ). If you end up getting into bed late (and waking-up late) you won’t want to be disturbed by the hotel staff trying to clean so be sure to place the DND sign on the door and enjoy. Another form of DND will be to hold your phone calls (call the front desk to request this), or simply unplug your hotel room phone. Don’t forget to turn-off your cell phones. You’ve earned a night together without any outside interruptions.

Enjoy your first night together!

Best,

Alisha Forrester Scott

La Ruche. event design studio.

You can reach AFS by e-mailing: studio@enterlaruche.com

Getting married is one thing. Planning a wedding is another. We will just assume you are getting married for the “right reasons” and that you’ve put all that serious thought into the life-changing decision. On to the “fun” part!

I believe that to some extent, everyone wants to be original when it comes to her wedding. It can be difficult to come up with original ideas when you get inspiration from magazines and tv and the Internet (and let me tell ya’, there is a LOT of wedding stuff out there). Then throw in designers that lead and follow trends and a few vendors that lack a bit of creativity, and you’ve got bland, done-before wedding that’s more ew than you! How do you avoid such a catastrophe? A few things to keep in mind:

If it doesn’t reflect you and your personal style, it’ll be less memorable. Ever been to a wedding that was just so/so? You don’t really remember it much because there wasn’t much that tied the day to the Bride and Groom. Letting your personal touches show throughout the day will leave your stamp, and will be something that your guests will remember.

Think outside of the ring box in everything from fashion to food to decoration. Working with a tiny budget? You don’t have to spend lots to get something “unique”. Buy simple dresses and spice them up with hand-made accessories or “extras”. Get a simple cake and add your own personal decorations. Reception centerpieces don’t need to be made up of flowers and candles! And you definitely don’t need to serve chicken and green beans for dinner!

Do what feels comfortable to you…and most of your guests. Love your pooch to pieces? Insist that Fifi walk down the aisle as the flower girl, or Fido as the ring bearer? Do it! Always dreamed of getting married beneath the stars, late at night? Don’t let anyone stop you. As long as it’s what you want and something that won’t make your guests uncomfortable (ie asking all your guests to throw on an air tank so you can tie the knot under water….probably asking a lot unless they are all diving enthusiasts), go for it. If nothing else, it will be memorable.

Don’t be afraid to go for something a little unexpected. Just because your brilliant idea isn’t “traditional” doesn’t mean it won’t be fabulous!

Keep a secret or two from your family, friends and guests. Thinking about making your grand exit in a helicopter? Planning on singing a song for your new spouse at the reception? Go for it! If it doesn’t happen, no one will know!

I love these! Though I call them “pumpkin skirts” or “pumpkin dresses”, I’m pretty sure the proper term is a dress or skirt with a “bubble hem”. They are fun and flirty, but not too “out there”. You can tie them into many themes (and by themes I mean wedding “vibe” or the overall feel you’re going with)! Go wild!

Charles Nolan

Ulla Maija

And perhaps a little something for the bridesmaids or rehearsal dinner:

Vera Wang

Neiman Marcus

*GOOD DEAL!* Forever 21

Vintage. Classic. Timeless. There is just something about [some] “old stuff” that I find irresistible. This especially holds true in the world and history of weddings. I saw a post over at Peonies and Polaroids about retro swim wear (which I really wish could come completely back into fashion) which has inspired this post. I hope you like it.

The retro “Princess Bride”:



*From Millie Motts

The modern dress:



*From Michelle Roth

The retro “Full Skirt & Bolero Jacket”:



*From Millie Motts

The modern dress (minus the jacket):



*From Vera Wang

The retro “Dress with Sleeves”:



*From Millie Motts

The modern dress:



*From Badgley Mischka

The retro “Glam Dress”:



*From VAM.ac.uk

The modern dress:



*From Hannah Hartnell

Hello! I got a little book over the weekend with some fun little tidbits in it that I simply must share with you! (The book, “Just for the Bride”, is published by Parragon Publishing.) This first post is, as the title states, about some superstitions young ladies of the day believed would help lead them to their future husbands. Read on to see what you might have been told if you were searching for Mr. Right.

“On Christmas Eve, stand before the fireplace and gaze into the flames to see the image of your future husband.”

“If you love a man and want to know if he will propose, throw a nut into the fire and say his name. If the nut jumps, you’ll marry. If the nut doesn’t move, the relationship will have no spark.”

“You can learn the temperament of your future husband by plucking a piece of hay from a hayloft at midnight. A crooked piece foretells a surly man; a straight piece signifies a good-natured man.”

“In case you are lucky enough to be a bridesmaid, plant a spring of myrtle in front of the newlywed’s home. If it takes root, you’ll marry within the year.”

“Peel an apple in a single strip and toss the peal over your left shoulder. The shape of the peel will reveal the first letter of the name of your spouse to be.”

“Pluck some wild daisies from a nearby field and put the roots under your pillow to dream of your groom.”

“On All Hallows Eve, brush your hair three times in front of the mirror. If you glimpse a man standing behind you, wedding bells will ring before the year is through.” (I don’t know about you, but I find this one rather creepy)

“When attending a wedding, be sure to take a piece of groom’s cake home and put it under your pillow. That night the face of your future husband will appear in your dreams.”

Note: Traditionally, groom’s cakes were fruitcakes…thanks goodness times have changed!

If the groom’s cake bit doesn’t work, “soak your shoelaces in water until they are saturated. Then throw them against the wall to see the initials of your soon to be betrothed.”

Hope you enjoyed! I think these types of things are always fun. And, it’s always fabulous to see where some of the things we still do today came from. Share with us any traditions or superstitions you’ve heard of or your family still participates in!

Hello wonderful world of wedding enthusiasts and brides-to-be! My name is Amanda and I am very proud to be one of your new Wedding Fanatic authors! Katie has been gracious enough to give me the opportunity to write about a subject that I can say I am very passionate, and admittedly slight obsessed with: fashion. There is a reason why the dress is perhaps the most monumental decision during the planning of a wedding and I intend to provide as much insight on the subject for you as my little fashion-filled brain can produce. I will also be writing on other fun wedding-related topics, as we all know there is much more involved in planning a wedding than simply finding the perfect dress; even if it is hard for my fashionista self to understand!

For my first post, I would like to discuss one of my favorite trends, and a classic at that. I am talking about pearls, monograms, Lily Pulitzer florals, and the perfect pair of worn Topsiders. Perhaps it is because I was first given a copy of Lisa Birnbach’s iconic Preppy Handbook at the tender age of 8 or the summer visits my family would take to Hilton Head, but I have always been partial to the Prep lifestyle and all it encompasses. This also may be why I find the Spring 2008 Wedding Runway Collection of ultimate prepster retailer J.Crew, to be oh so sophisticated, yet fresh and fun all at the same time.

I had always thought about J.Crew as a prime place to pick up divine cashmere cardigans and bright chinos, but their current collection of Bridal dresses have proven to me that J.Crew is more than an outlet to purchase your pastels, but is a force to be reckoned with in the bridal industry as well.

One of my favorites was this strapless satin empire-waist gown that flows beautifully over the hips. The waist is drawn in by a ribbon belt and bow to show off curves and small, clear sequins are scattered all over the bodice to add an eye-catching element to such a classic looking piece.

Another element of J.Crew’s spring collection that was not to be overlooked was their creative use of chiffon. I seem to have a love/hate relationship with chiffon, as I feel it can either be used really poorly or really well. In J.Crew’s case, I believe they fall into the latter with this fantastically simple, yet chic, strapless empire-waist gown, with a beautiful chiffon layered hemline and dotted sheer overlay. The dotted pattern of the overlay gives the simple gown a more textured look and the chiffon hemline is not as distracting a fully chiffon-layered bodice.

Other looks from the J.Crew Spring 2008 Collection:

All gowns from the 2008 spring runway show will not be available for purchase until the fall season, as showings are done a season ahead. J.Crew Bridal Attire is not available at J.Crew retailers, but an online order can be returned to any J.Crew retail store. In this case, it would seem best to order a number of sizes and simply return the ones that don’t work to your local J.Crew. Hey, who said preppy couldn’t be bridal chic?

All J.Crew Runway Photos Courtesy Of: Brides.com