Doing business should not be exhaustive, emotionally draining, or result in severe disappointment. However, this was not at all the experience that my firm or my clients had during their one-week destination wedding to the Dreams Tulum Resort in Mexico.
I believe in giving honest feedback. I believe in providing intuitive Customer Service. I believe in letting-go of what you cannot control. With this said, I submit the following report as a "Buyer Beware" to travel agents who book destination weddings but especially on behalf of the consumers who book these trips with high hopes – often spending tens-of-thousands of dollars in trying to make the destination wedding experience memorable for their family and friends.
Again, this post is very specific to our (client and my [La Ruche] ) recent experience of a February 21, 2009, wedding that occurred at the Dreams Tulum Resort in Mexico.
Your travel agent and their role in booking a destination wedding
Rule #1: Your travel agent needs to be forthright in explaining their knowledge of the area and specific resort that you will be traveling to.
Being mindful of what some could potentially consider libel or another form of defamation, I will not be using names or business names. However, the travel agent for our particular destination wedding to the Tulum Dreams Resort in Mexico was not forthright. At the time of booking the trip, the Bride and Groom and the Bride’s parents (who were paying for most of the trip) were under the impression that this travel agent had actually been to the resort. This was likely due to the comments about the resort in the first person made by the travel agent (which I can confirm).
As it so happens – as was finally discovered while we were at the resort by the Bride and Groom and the Bride’s parents – our travel agent had zero first-hand knowledge of the resort. The Bride and Groom and their families felt that this late-discovered tidbit was very disappointing and affected the result of the destination wedding and of the decision that they may have made if they would know known this (pre trip purchase).
Rule #2: Your travel agent is NOT a wedding coordinator.
As a wedding coordinator we rely on the information which a travel agent can provide; in regards to resort contacts, timelines, restrictions, general resort information (layouts), and likely weather scenarios. Each of these items are extremely important to properly planning a wedding. In the context of wedding coordination for a destination wedding, resort contacts, restrictions, and weather scenarios are the most important.
Once La Ruche was hired by the Bride and Groom, the very first contact with the travel agent was not merely appalling. If I were to state that the travel agent was haughty, rude, had poor direct communication skills with the Bride and Groom, and had a threatening tone when she asked me (the hired wedding coordinator), "I’m curious, what exactly do you do? I told [Bride and Groom] that I was able to plan their wedding." Well, I wish I were exaggerating. The travel agent was wildly and preposterously off-base with her personal affirmation that she – being in a completely different industry with a completely different role – would be the cornerstone of the Bride and Groom’s wedding planning.
To her [travel agent's] credit, she boasts at least ten (10) years in the industry, and has likely assisted many destination wedding couples align their preferences with the resort of their choice. However, choosing the cake flavors and the flowers does not constitute calling oneself – or claiming oneself to be – a wedding coordinator. Needless to say, her claim was insulting to both the travel and the wedding coordination industries.
Rule #3: Confirm your transportation from the airport to your resort with your travel agent.
The Bride and Groom and their families arrived to the Cancun, Mexico, airport on Monday, February 16, 2009. Upon arrival it became immediately clear that the travel agent had failed to properly book transportation from the airport to the resort for the Bride and Groom, their two small children, and the Bride’s parents; who, incidentally as mentioned previously, were the ones paying for the entire trip.
Throughout the entire process the travel agent had said that she would have her cell phone on during the group’s travel times, however, the Bride’s father soon found that trying to reach her once this issue was discovered yielded the travel agents voice mail. The group was resigned to being forced to book a private shuttle bus by paying cash out of their pockets to get to the resort.
Rule #4: Travel Insurance will not cover anything that the destination resort does wrong.
Long story short, if something goes wrong at the resort and it doesn’t involve an injury, theft, or transportation issue, you are not getting your money back without a very big fight.
The resort is M.I.A. for over 60-days. Why won’t the resort write us back?
The resort’s wedding staff – had up until October 2008 – communicated well via e-mail. Communication by phone would have meant international long-distance rates for everyone. NOT ONE E-MAIL WAS RESPONDED TO – NOR WAS ANY EXPLANATION GIVEN – FOR OVER 60 DAYS IN OCTOBER OR NOVEMBER 2008. I contacted everyone I could think of: the Dreams Sales Team, the Dreams main office…anyone with an e-mail address or toll-free telephone number.
I was becoming desperate. I contacted the travel agent to explain the situation, and she responded by giving me an e-mail address to someone that I had never heard of at the resort. It was worth a try.
In December 2008, "that someone" that we had never heard or worked with finally e-mailed us back. We soon found out that our new resort contact was not even a resort wedding coordinator. The wedding coordinator we HAD been working with – Landy Cahum – handed-off our file to an assistant. Until we reached the resort we never again got to work directly with or ask questions to a resort wedding coordinator. This lack of proper communication proved to be devastating to the wedding day details.
Note: On the last day of my time at the resort I found out why Landy Cahum (or anyone else at the resort for that matter) had been M.I.A. for that two month period. Apparently, the resort had some permitting issues and had been shut-down for the whole of October and November 2008. Now, this still does not excuse why – once the resort opened again – Landy failed to EVER get back to us, again. Upon my return from the trip I told the travel agent about this discovery about the permitting issues. Her response was that "…yes, she had heard that." I felt disappointed that the travel agent had at some point heard this information but failed to let us know.
Trying to plan the details and how it did not matter
During the planning process our Bride and Groom requested several requests which were in addition to the regular resort wedding package:
1. We would be providing our own canopy altar instead of using the resort’s standard four-wooden-post canopy
2. We asked for a specialty cake (3-layers, 3-flavors, individually decorated then stacked)
3. We asked that the Bride’s and bridesmaid’s floral contain no roses, be of specific colors, and be made to include one (1) specific variety (orchids). We were to provide materials (upon my arrival), including peacock feathers, that were to be used for all bouquets.
4. Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers were to be of the same varieties as were the bridesmaids bouquets.
5. We were to provide floral materials to the resort (which would then be given to the off-site florist) to be used in all floral arrangements.
6. We provided instruction as to how to construct the boutonnieres.
7. We wished for the guitarist to play specific songs for the ceremony. We provided this list to the resort 3-weeks before the wedding, to which they – on two occasions – confirmed that this was possible.
8. We asked that musicians (included in the package) played during dinner.
9. We were bringing damask chair ties which were to be used on the ceremony guest chairs, and then moved and used for the wedding dinner.
Preparations are under way…so we think.
As mentioned above, we were assigned to an assistant resort wedding coordinator. Basically, someone that had no input or decision-making power, or the intuition necessary in informing us of any possible roadblocks to getting our requests properly met.
Through our assistant resort contact, the resort required that we complete several forms, including an event order which would layout the specifics of our requests (as shown above). The resort required that we return the form by January 15, 2009 – a little over one month before we arrived to the resort. All forms were returned including photos and descriptions of what we had requested (you know…just in case the language-barrier would become an issue). We headed down to the resort feeling good about having completed our resort event order.
A resort that did not know anything about us
In order of occurrence, we should have known that there would be major wedding day issues when:
- A new and different resort contact – a wedding coordinator unbeknownst to anyone (even the travel agent) – was assigned to our event. This wedding coordinator had literally just been handed our file, and knew nothing of our previous correspondence, requests, or concerns.
- Upon their arrival the Bride and Groom were notified that there would be two other weddings occurring that day, and not two total wedding as we were previously led to believe.
- The Bride and Groom were notified that – although the previous resort contact had said that there would be no problem in having 3 different flavors for the 3 cake layers – that the were no longer allowed to do this. The Bride and Groom had to choose one (1) flavor…which would have been fine except this was the first that they were hearing about it.
We asked for a specialty cake (3-layers, 3-flavors, individually decorated then stacked) No dice. 
- The pricing for the dance floor went up from $600 to $800 without notice. (I was later able to negotiate $660.)
- Upon my arrival to the resort (the day before the wedding) our newly assigned resort wedding coordinator, Natalia, looked at me in puzzlement, confusion, and concern and asked me, "Why [hadn't we] told them that we were providing materials for the floral order?" We had
We were to provide floral materials to the resort (which would then be given to the off-site florist) to be used in all floral arrangements. No dice.
- During the Friday night wedding rehearsal (the night before the wedding), Natalia told the Bride and Groom that the the guitarist that they had hired ($300 for 45-minutes) would be unable to play the songs which we had requested 3-weeks before. They were forced to select a few Beatles’ songs.
We wished for the guitarist to play specific songs for the ceremony. We provided this list to the resort 3-weeks before the wedding, to which they – on two occassions – confirmed that this was possible. No dice.
The day of the wedding
On the resort’s daily roster we were merely "Wedding #3" for the day, and out of this realization it is likely that the incorrect floral, cake, and music orders which were to follow were borne. More about this soon.
At noon sharp I met on the beach with Natalia (our newly assigned resort wedding coordinator) and some laborers to put together the canopy which we had shipped down. At 1:30 PM, under "unseasonably windy" conditions [or so the resort told me then], we took down the canopy – even after trying to reinforce it – because I did not want to imagine what would happen if the canopy were to fall during the ceremony. Imagine the restraint I had when Natalia asked, "Why did you not tell us that you were bringing this [canopy]? You have used our time that we did not know we had to use." That had been our number one request. We had told them and had even asked them if there could be any complications with using our own canopy.
We would be providing our own canopy altar instead of using the resort’s standard four-wooden-post canopy . No dice.
Floral was delivered in the early afternoon. Despite our request that "No roses please", ALL of the arrangements contained roses. The Bridesmaids’ bouquets were made only of roses, and contained none of the materials which we had provided (peacock feathers, etc.). The Bride’s bouquet did contain the right color of flowers, but had been so shoddily made using substandard floral materials (florists foam, plastic container, etc.), that it was literally falling apart during the ceremony.
We asked that the Bride’s and bridesmaid’s floral contain no roses, be of specific colors, and be made to include one (1) specific variety (orchids). We were to provide materials (upon my arrival), including peacock feathers, that were to be used for all bouquets. No dice.
The ceremony was to begin at 5 o’clock. At 4:40 PM – despite 40-minutes of phone calls and waiting – the resort had not yet picked-up the decorations for the wedding and the wedding dinner in the hotel room. I was desperate and was supposed to be in position to officiate the ceremony. Our saving grace was that the ceremony area had not yet been completely set-up by the resort, and some members of the wedding party were still getting ready.
Literally just before the wedding started Natalia came over to dispense the corsages and boutonnieres. One word: laughable. Not only was the order incorrect, but the cheesy wrist corsages (we had requested pin-back lapel corsages) looked ridiculous. The materials which we had provided were used in the boutonnieres, but had literally been stuck-into the flower as an afterthought.
Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers were to be of the same varieties as were the bridesmaids bouquets
We were to provide floral materials to the resort (which would then be given to the off-site florist) to be used in all floral arrangements
We provided instruction as to how to construct the boutonnieres. No dice.
At least the ceremony was a "10"…emotionally-speaking.
After the ceremony I RAN over to the cocktail hour to set-up before the wedding party arrived for the cocktail hour. It was still "unseasonably windy" and so we could not use any flame, nor any of the paper products (seating assignments, guest scrapbook project) that we had intended on using. Of course the resort is not to blame for the wind! However, the resort is certainly to blame for the outdoor lighting not having yet been installed, and for the mariachi band (which we had requested play during dinner) arriving and beginning to play before seating for dinner even began.
We asked that musicians (included in the package) played during dinner. No dice.
At this point I am defeated. It is obvious that we have zero control. I press on putting on my best fake smile hoping that the wedding dinner would go well, and that the reception would be fun and memorable for everyone.
The next (but not final) issue occurred when Natalia disappeared, and the damask chair ties were never brought over to be used for the wedding dinner.
We were bringing damask chair ties which were to be used on the ceremony guest chairs, and then moved and used for the wedding dinner. No dice.
At last, it is time for the cake cutting…only the cake is nowhere to be found. Natalia was still M.I.A., and the wait staff was awaiting her instruction to bring the cake out. Cut to the cake being brought-out…
As the cake is being brought into the light the Bride and her mother gasp. I giggle out of sheer surprise. I briefly meet with the Bride’s mother and with the Bride, and it is official: the cake is a big joke. Now, I am a realistic person. My expectations are not sky-high. I am reasonable and willing to concede if a few very minor points to executing a wedding were to go awry, but this…well…took the cake. The cake looked like a building. A 3-story building complete with little frosting windows. You know those little frosting scallops that grandma’s put on little girl’s birthday cakes? Well, we had those, too. The best looking part of the cake was the knife service set which I had brought. Keep in mind that because we had 32 guests, the resort was charging us $8/per person for each head over 20 guests. This crazy cake was costing us $96 (in addition to the pricing the resort rolled-into our package).
We asked for a specialty cake (3-layers, 3-flavors, individually decorated then stacked). No dice.
It was official: the resort definitely owed us a refund for floral, for cake, for musicians that weren’t informed that we had requested special songs. Before I left that evening – defeated by an "all-inclusive" resort, I found Natalia and announced that we would be needing a refund. She was actually shocked, and asked me to phone her on Monday morning (a few hours before my departure) so that we could talk more.
Monday morning is a disappointing blur. With my airport shuttle leaving at 11:15 AM, I am failing to reach anyone in the resorts wedding department in order to set-up a meeting. I could not get a call-back: not from Landy (the "head boss" who had ultimately ditched us in November 2008 and had not talked to us since); not from Natalia (who was conveniently in a meeting all morning). Finally, at about 10:15 AM I get a phone call in my room where I had been busy packing-up all of the sad decorations that were unable to be used effectively because of the "unseasonable wind". Remember the assistant to the wedding planner that we had been handed-off to in November 2008? Well, she was the one calling inviting me to discuss our needs.
30-minutes later I had finished meeting with the assistant. Our list of demands was simple: the resort would not make any money off of the cake, the floral, or the mariachi. (After all, we did not specifically know that it was the florist’s or the mariachi’s fault. There was no way for us to confirm.) Our demands were met, signatures were gathered, and I made my airport shuttle. I was headed home with a very different perspective then what I had come with.
In conclusion
If you have read this far – please protect yourself by adhering to the following guidelines:
1. Consider having your destination wedding in an English-speaking area
2. Ask your travel agent this specific question, "Have you ever been to this resort?"
3. Ask your travel agent for referrals of past clients who have married at the same resort, in the area, or at the same brand of resorts in which you are staying. If they cannot provide these referrals save your time and energy by finding a travel agent with this experience. Once you get the referrals be sure to contact them and ask them about specifics, including rating both their destination wedding experience and their travel agent.
4. Consider purchasing a wedding insurance policy to cover things which your travel insurance does not cover. (If spending $10K or more I always recommend insuring your event no matter what.)
5. If you have decided to get married at a non-English speaking destination, consider not planning for anything "special" or "custom" to happen. The liklihood of getting what you want lowers substantially if language is a barrier.
Please note that this was not our first time planning a destination wedding; rather it was our first time planning a destination wedding in a non-English speaking location with a travel agent who had not experienced the resort first-hand. Keep in mind that our Bride and her family spoke fluent Spanish, and that we still had these issues with the resort.
I truly hope that the results of this wedding are not typical of the "regular" Dreams Tulum weddings, however:
Buyer Beware of having your wedding at Dreams Tulum, or any of the other Dreams resorts.
Buyer Beware of hiring travel agents who are truly difficult, have poor communication skills, poor follow-up skills, and are not fully informed about the resort conditions in which they are sending their clients into.
You can reach me at studio@enterlaruche.com for more information about this post.
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