From the category archives:

Planning with the Pros

You’ve found the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. Now let’s find those ‘maids!

Whether you have one or twenty, bridesmaids are your go-to gals for all things wedding – while your planning and on the big day. Once you’ve singled out the most important ladies in your life, you have to pop the question(s) yourself. But how shall you do it? We’ve come up with a few ideas that should fit many styles and budgets.

Have more fabulous ideas? Share them in the comments!

Simply ask them in person. Whether it’s as a group or individually, you don’t need to do anything over the top! Just ask! Take them out to dinner or invite them over for a girl’s night in, and pop the question whenever the moment it right. One word of advice – ask your Maid of Honor(s) in advance and separately. She is the “honored” one and this will make it a bit more special.

Send them on a scavenger hunt. If you want to go all out or have a lot of time on your hands, send them (together or separate) on a scavenger hunt. If you’re going to create a custom hunt for each girl, start by sending each to a special place where you share some funny memories or good times. Repeat this idea for the next location or start dropping some hints by sending them to a bridal gown shop or florist, or have them stop by a cake shop or even the place you plan to tie the knot. Wherever the final destination, be ready to greet each one at the end of the hunt with the big question!

We realize you might not live in the same town or city as your future bridesmaids, so read on for some ideas that lend themselves to OOT BMs, too!

Use humor. You get to experience both the good and the bad when it comes to being a bridesmaid – we’ve all heard the stories. Ugly dresses, nail polish color restrictions, uncomfortable shoes and having to deal with Bridezilla (well, it’s a possibility at least). And while many bridesmaids have come to the end of a wedding day swearing to never be a bridesmaid again, others have looked back and just laughed…and created things like UglyDress.com. If you and your girls like a good laugh, try taking a humorous approach to popping the question. Here are two ideas we like that embrace the uglies –

DIY cards that ask “Will you be my bridesmaid?” on the front and feature hideous dresses on the inside along with the saying “I promise. I’ll never make you wear an ugly dress.”

If you’ve got the budget (or a great stock of old prom dresses), pack up some of the most hideous dresses you can get your hands on, mail them to your maids, along with notes that read “If you’ll be my bridesmaid, I’ll never make you wear a dress like this!”

A less frightening but still humorous approach? List all the reasons your maids shouldn’t fear accepting the challenge of being one of your bridesmaids. Or, offer up all the things you’ll vow to do (or not do) as a bride. Some examples –

If you’ll be my bridesmaid, I promise to…
…never make you wear taffeta and tulle… AND lace on the same dress.
…not care if you change your hair color right before my wedding (unless, maybe, you go with a bright blue or purple…)
…not ask you to loose 10 pounds before you walk down the aisle in front of me.
…not ask you to gain 10 pounds before you walk down the aisle in front of me.
…be understanding of the fact that puce green, though it may match my tablescape perfectly, doesn’t necessarily coordinate with your skin tone.

Be sentimental. Do you guys watch sappy movies together and cry your eyeballs out? Or maybe you’re just a sentimental bunch. Put together a small scrapbook of some of the good times you’ve shared as friends and on the last page, include a short note about what her friendship means to you along with the question of the hour – Will you be my bridesmaid?

Indulge the sweet tooth. If you stop by WeddingFanatic often, you know I love anything with a nice dusting of sugar and sweetness. If you have any bridesmaids like me, ask them very sweetly – with candies, cakes, or cookies! There are a lot of good options out there, check out a few of my favorites – cookies from the too-cute Flour Pot Cookies and cakes from the always fabulous Pink Cake Box.

BM Dresses

BM Cakes

Spoil them. Who doesn’t like to be spoiled!? Being pampered isn’t bad either. Why not do both by gifting your gals with a monogrammed tote full of spa goodies and wedding day essentials – a robe, comfy slippers, a few candles, delicious smelling lotions, and a small zippered bag with things like stain removing pens, safety pins, mints, mini sewing kits, and whatever else you think your girls will need on W-Day!

Give them some tips. Think your ladies will be clueless about their responsibilities? Or maybe they just happen to be bookworms? How about a nice How-To guide book just for bridesmaids! There are tons of options, check out a couple below.

TheBridesmaidGuide

The Bridesmaid Guide: Etiquette, Parties and Being Fabulous by Kate Chynoweth

the bridemaid handbook

The Bridesmaid Handbook by Sharon Naylor

Razzle Dazzle ‘em. If your ladies are drawn to sparkly things, consider presenting a piece of jewelry along with your question. It could be a piece that you’d like for them to wear down the aisle on your big day. Just beware – if for whatever reason one of your girls turns you down, you’re stuck with giving her the item anyway or awkwardly taking it back.

Get personal. You don’t have to do the same thing for each girl. Try picking out a little something that you know each will like and present the gifts to your ladies before, during, or after you pop the question!

What did you do (or do you plan to do) when asking your girls to be Bridesmaids? We want to hear your fabulous ideas!

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Let me be among the first to congratulate you and your Beloved! You are making it officially official.

If you are one of the women who first freaked out or cried, and then immediately thought, “OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO NEXT?!” then welcome to the club. Nearly every newly engaged woman at some point will feel scared and excited at the very same time. So, what should you do after you tell your family and friends (and co-workers and neighbors and strangers at the bar)? Here’s a good place to start:

Step 1. Give yourself seven days – one FULL week – of not buying anything; of not thinking about how much money you’ll need to find to pay for the wedding; of not purchasing your dress. Give yourself one full week of being happy in your situation. Impulse purchases – even if you feel they have been “planned” for years – are likely to cause anxiety in the long-term.

Step 2. (This is a super important step.) BEFORE talking money with your parents and your partner’s parents, spend some quality time with each set of parents. By taking time to focus on your families you will bond over the promise of your future, and not over the stress of the money being spent.

Step 3. Now that your families are happy and on-board, it’s time to sit down with each set of parents and talk about the realities of the financial obligations of each family. Modern weddings often bring equal financial assistance from both sets of parents. However, if your partner’s family is more traditional, and if your family is not able to support the full cost of the wedding and reception (especially if there is food involved), then you will need to openly discuss with your partner the best way to broach the topic of conversation with your future in-laws.

It should be noted that reality often sets in, and many couples soon discover that their families are unable to provide the type of financial support to give them a “Dream wedding.” Please know that ‘by the numbers’ very few couples are fortunate enough to truly experience their ideal wedding… especially as our view of modern weddings is purely excessive and over-consumptive by nature. In the situations where there is not enough money to get what you think you want, it is best to remember one thing: You are not getting married to have a wedding. You are getting married because you are very much in love with your partner. If you are unable to have the wedding of your dreams, make yourselves a promise that as soon as you can you will go on a fabulous vacation, or perhaps have a rockin’ anniversary party for all of your family and friends! If it comes down to money and you absolutely have to have what you want, fore go the marriage and enjoy being engaged for as long as it takes.

Step 4. Now that you are aware of your financial situation, set a wedding date that makes financial sense. There is zero point in planning a wedding date that is too soon for your finances. If you do not have the money to pay for wedding vendors and services, then you should absolutely not be signing contracts because the legal ramifications are just too large and the risk too high.

Step 5. Find a qualified wedding planner. A wedding planner’s services will range from $1500-$25,000, depending on your financial situation and the level of hired talent, but you can be sure that the wedding planner will save you TONS of cash and time and frustration and confusion. It is logical to assume that if you are relaxed and excited during your engagement, then you will start your marriage off on the right foot.

Hope this helps. Enjoy your new life together!

Best,

Alisha Forrester Scott
La Ruche. event design studio.

You can contact Alisha with comments or questions by visiting http://www.enterlaruche.com.

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5 Ways to NOT Pop the Question

by Katie on November 16, 2009 · 3 comments

in Little Tips

I was emailed this little article on behalf of David Mamane, CEO of the online jewelry boutique, MyJewelryBox.com and it made my chuckle, so I thought I’d share.

So if you’re about to pop the question, here are the top 5 places NOT to put the engagement ring before you propose…

1. Inside a hot air balloon: Pastor James Ng learned the hard way when he dropped his engagement ring hundreds of feet from a hot air balloon during his proposal. At least the whole situation wasn’t full of hot air…she said yes and a week later he found the ring.

2. In a cup: It really stunk when a NJ man had to go through over 10 tons of garbage to retrieve the wedding ring his wife placed in a paper cup, which he accidently threw away.

3. On a boat deck or pier: Crashing waves while proposing is romantic, but if you drop the ring into the water—a dive team search and rescue is not.

4. On a bridge: How depressing, a guy approached by the police-suicide prevention squad on the Brooklyn Bridge had to explain that he wasn’t trying to commit suicide, rather he was looking for the engagement ring that he had just dropped.

5. Hidden in food: It might be hard to stomach, but women have swallowed the ring their fiancée had hidden in champagne, dessert, and even a Wendy’s Frosty.

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ColorSnap!

by Katie on November 4, 2009 · 1 comment

in Resources & Checklists

colorsnap

Hello hello! I was flipping through a Modern Bride today and stumbled across a tidbit about Wedding Apps for iPhones. I love me some color so I had to check out ColorSnap from Sherwin-Williams. I must say – if you’re a color fanatic or just love messing around with colors, you MUST discover it for yourself! Download it here. :)

It’s super simple to use. Take a picture or select one from your library, then select the area of the image you want to focus on. After that, you can use your finger to move over every pixel of the photo to see exactly what colors are included! Once you find the exact shade you’re looking for, the app will bring up a few additional colors to complete a fabulous color scheme. So much fun (!). Use it for wedding inspiration, new room decorating, or just inspiration.

Here is what Sherwin-Williams has to say about it:
* Choose a color that inspires you and match it with one of our 1,500 Sherwin-Williams paint colors.
* Receive a coordinating palette that complements your color.
* Find your local Sherwin-Williams store where the experts will help you bring your vision to life.
* Save colors to your “My Saved Colors” library for future inspiration.
* Learn more detailed information, including paint names and RGB numbers.

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Chat with David Tutera

by Katie on October 14, 2009 · 2 comments

in Celebrities

Hello my dears! I am thrilled to tell you about the phone conference I got to sit in on with David Tutera and WE TV a couple weeks ago. See below for the advice and words of wisdom that Tutera had for all of us wedding bloggers.

How do you bring guests into the celebration? Create an interactive experience for guests – have them become part of the event. It’s all about creating an experience.

What are some good tips for brides on a budget? It’s important to not get overwhelmed with budget issues – pay attention to the details. Details don’t cost money (but they do cost time). Another tip: Pick one color and use it in abundance, and use cheap things that can aid in creating that “wow factor”, like water and candles.

What are popular colors for weddings these days? In the next few years, we’ll be seeing warmer tones – bronzes and coppers. Purple is popular now, as is the whole style of “vintage clam”.

Tell us your thoughts on the Do It Yourself Wedding movement. For wedding planners – draw your line in the sand. It’s great that brides want to get crafty and do things themselves, but the wedding planner or coordinator doesn’t need to be finishing projects for the bride.

Of all the great books you’ve written, which is your favorite and why? The Party Planner because it’s the most helpful for any reader who wants to recreate the ideas shared in the book.

Good tips, as always. Check out this little video about David’s new (and first) fashion line:




Don’t forget to watch David’s new season of My Fair Wedding too, on WE TV, Sundays at 10/9pm central. He works wonders for his couples!

Davidpressshot

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Hey ladies (and gents), I’m so excited to tell you about a fab new program for those planning a wedding – My Wedding Workbook. It’s an online planning tool that helps you track your guest, budget and spending, vendors, and the events surrounding the big day. As you can see on the site, it might just be the next-generation online wedding planner! Even better, it’s free.

MyWeddingWorkbookLogo

While I believe you can’t really replace a living, breathing wedding planner or coordinator (I mean really, a computer program or internet application won’t be there on your wedding day to direct vendors if need be, or tackle minor issues that pop up), this would be a stellar program to use throughout your planning process.

And, for all of you wedding planning pros out there, there is My Wedding Workbook Pro. With just as many helpful tools, this program is easy to use and incredibly helpful with tracking clients and client leads, vendors for every event, and much more.

My Wedding Workbook was created by husband and wife team, Steve and Tammy. While planning a wedding of their own, they realized there could be an even better online planning tool so, they created one!

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5 Tips for Destressing

by Katie on September 8, 2009 · 0 comments

in Little Tips

1. Take the night off. Long day at work? Not feeling the wedding planning vibe tonight? Let it go and do something else. Catch up on your favorite TV shows, work on a sewing project, read a good book – anything that you enjoy, other than wedding planning, of course! It will all still be there tomorrow.

2. Make a list. Write down everything you need to do. Mark a “1″ next to tasks that are both urgent and important, a “2″ next to everything that can wait until tomorrow, and a “3″ next to things that you’ll have to do sooner or later but are neither urgent or uber important. Put a star next to the tasks you can ask for help with or simply “assign” to someone else. Contact the people you’ve assigned tasks to via stars and ask for help ASAP. Most importantly, cross off your completed tasks as you complete them. This will help you stay organized and hey, it just feels good!

3. Do something that simply makes you happy. Go for a jog, volunteer at the local animal shelter, window shop. This will help get your mind off of stressful wedding situations and put you in a fabulous mood. And who doesn’t like being in a fabulous mood?

4. Take a staycation.* You don’t have to go far to get away. Take a day trip and leave your cell turned off (unless there is an emergency, of course!). Explore a new place or learn something new, or both. Being in a new place is exciting in and of itself, even if it’s just a few miles from where you live.

5. Take a nap. I’m a huge supporter of naps. I often get stressed when I’ve gotten too little sleep. Feel like you’re not getting anything accomplished during the day? Take a few minutes and just let yourself slip into sweet, sweet slumberland. 15-20 minutes should do the trick! Wake up feeling a bit refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to get things finished!

* As a Missouri girl, I love to discover the great places all over the state. Take Hermann, Missouri for example – a quaint place between Columbia and St. Louis that offers “Old-World hospitality and the quiet charms of an earlier time. With an abundance of spectacular views, more than 150 historic buildings, quaint inn and B&Bs, world class wineries, museums, shops and galleries, and fine dining, Hermann is the perfect place for romantic retreats.” Check out one of the inns below!

Hermannhof

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Jessica Rust Designs

by Katie on September 7, 2009 · 0 comments

in Unique Chic

Happy Labor Day! I wanted to share with you some of Jessica Rust’s fabulous designs today. I love all things for the home, especially items that pertain to a perfectly set table, and these delicate pieces make the perfect gifts – for the bride and groom, for the bridal party, or for yourself!

The company, launched in 1993, creates specialty ceramic pieces. Always reflecting Jessica’s unique designs, the product line is always evolving and joining perfectly form and function. Check out some pieces that would make great additions to any home!

lovebirdplate

birchdessertcollection

lovebugplate

Have a great week! :)

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The happiness of your wedding does not need to end when the day is over. We’ve shared ideas for when you’re feeling charitable before. But you can never have too many ideas — spread the love and make a difference. Here are a few ways to be generous to others and kind to the earth on your big day.

Instead of wedding favors, make a donation to your favorite charity. Trinkets are easily lost, but a contribution to a nonprofit can make a lasting impact.

Some brides and grooms list stores at which they have registered on their invitation or website. Add that favorite nonprofit to your list so guests can make a donation in your honor.

Use recycled paper. Invitations, save-the-dates, napkins, thank you notes, programs . . . opportunities are endless!

Use less paper in the first place. Send a simple invite with the date, location and time; direct guests to your blog or website for further event information. Skip the reply cards and ask guests to RSVP via telephone or e-mail.

Eat locally. Ask your caterer if he or she has access to fruits and vegetables from a nearby farmer’s market. You will reduce your carbon footprint and know you’re helping local growers.

The farmer’s market can also be a source for fresh flowers. If you are a do-it-yourself bride, craft the bouquets yourself using those locally grown blooms. Not crafty? Recruit a friend who is!

Share your décor. If you don’t plan to reuse your centerpieces, or components of it, donate the arrangements to a place that could use some brightening. Ask nursing homes, women’s shelters or community centers. The items may give the place just the lift it needs!

Don’t stop here. Let these ideas inspire you to contribute to others, on your big day and beyond.

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There are plenty of reasons not to stop spending money; the biggest being our economy not being able to improve if consumers stop buying.

If you are set to marry in 2010 THANK YOU for doing your part.  Being smart about how you will spend your wedding money comes down to logic and timing. Capitalism leans heavily on supply and demand, and so in the spirit of saving you money, I offer you the Top 5 vendors that you should hire NOW for 2010 in order to avoid planning snafus and fiscal headaches (seen below in order of importance):

[ALWAYS BOOK YOUR WEDDING CONSULTANT FIRST. THEY WILL SAVE YOU MONEY AND HASSELL.]

  1. Book your ceremony and reception venue(s). Prices for many regularly expensive venues have hit rock bottom and so now is the time to book! If you think that waiting to put down your deposit will afford you deeper discounts you may end up scrambling to find a venue that has not already been taken for all of the best 2010 dates (especially weekends). Booking one year in advance is standard and recommended.
  2. Book your photographer and videographer. Just like venues, many photographers and videographers have either dropped their prices or are offering substantial economy-related discounts. If you ever wanted an upgrade in talent now is the time to find and book the vendors that will tell your story in images.
  3. Book your musician(s) and entertainment. With many musicians finding "day jobs," the pool of available musicians has decreased. First, book your ceremony musician(s) (since the ceremony is the most important part of your event). Then, your reception, and lastly your cocktail hour. If you are opting for an "iPod" vs. a DJ, then be sure to book a qualified sound engineer to hook up and test all of the sound equipment and sound levels.
  4. Book your Officiant. Last year I said to book your Officiant 2nd. However, since it has become common knowledge that anyone can perform your ceremony with a simple online ordination, there are more than enough qualified Officiants to go around. However, do not delay in your search, as the most personable and professional Officiants get booked fast and well in advance.
  5. Book your caterer. If you are working with a venue that requires you use a vendor that they have provided, then go ahead and skip to the ‘bonus’ item below since this entry will not apply to you. **Many caterers can handle up to 2-3 events simultaneously, but as we all know catering is an art form requiring a competent staff. Many of the catering companies that I have met disappoint in one way or another. From commuication and fair pricing to tasting and presentation, secure your catering company now.

BONUS

Book your florist. Many shops are struggling to stay open, and so now is the time to book for maximum ‘fee forgiveness.’  Shops will consider dropping their delivery fees and minimum order requirements, so be sure to ask.

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