Eating your money - Making the most of your event catering bill

Believe me, as an event planner I have seen that it is EASY to blow through $20,000+ by feeding (and giving alcohol to) 185+ people. For privileged couples this type of budget allowance is available. But, for those unable or unwilling to shell out that much money, may I suggest the following tips:

• Understand the correlation between the cost of catering and the number of mouths that you feed. Although the ‘quality’ of food that you serve your guests will increase or decrease the cost of catering for your event, you must first understand that the number one factor for enormous food bills is number of mouths that you are feeding.  If you are planning on inviting 100 guests to your reception then you need to plan to feed those 100 people.

If after doing the numbers with your caterer you do not have the funds to feed everyone on your invitees list, then it is time to re-evaluate your guest list. When it comes down to it, if you don’t have the money you don’t have the money. There is nothing to be ashamed about. However, you will need to modify your list to include only the most important persons.

"But we HAVE to invite everyone on our list to the reception!" Not true. Consider throwing a party where hors d’oeuvres and drinks can be served. When it comes down to it, a big reason that hurt feelings happen may be because people want to have an opportunity to share in your moment and in your joy. Creating a moment for those that you cannot afford to have at the reception is perfectly acceptable.

• Go heavy on the hors d’oeuvres . Although you may be serving a meal at the reception, consider adding a one-hour long cocktail party to allow guests to quench their post-ceremony hunger. Guests that eat before dinner will eat smaller portions and are less likely to go back for second portions. Go "fancy" and have butlered hors d’oeuvres passed to the guests, alongside "do it yourself" hors d’oeuvres stations.
• Filler, filler, Filler. Filler foods are foods that fill stomachs fast and for little money.  Have you ever eaten at a restaurant that first serves bread? Bread is an excellent filler. As for class, try using an exotic pasta, bruschetta + toppings, and other such foods that will take-up room in a guest’s stomach. Another helpful tip is to have the filler foods waiting at guest tables for the guests, so that they can get started with their eating before the food line opens or wait staff begins their service.
• Control your guests’ portions. Even (and especially) if you are offering a buffet, ask your caterer (or volunteers) to stand behind the foods to dole-out portions. Portion control is an easy way for you to save big dollars on large amounts of food that would otherwise not be consumed because most guests would not eat so much unless it were free.
• Post-dinner pickins. Especially when serving guests alcohol you may wish to consider erecting a few small hors d’oeuvres stations posted throughout the ceremony space. Guests that are dancing and drinking are likely to search the venue for a few crackers and cheeses, fruits, or sweets to munch on. As a bonus, giving guests reason to munch will allow for [slightly] less alcohol consumption. Keep in mind that for convenience sake you may not want to serve foods that require refrigeration or constant heating. (Food poisoning guests = icky.)
• Plan for the staff gratuity. In many situations the gratuity for the wait staff, bartenders, and food captains will be directly added to the food bill that you endorse from the caterer or venue. However, some companies will allow you to add-in your own gratuity based upon your experience. In either case make a decision that you are going to plan for the staff gratuity instead of being shocked or put-off by it. After all, the staff gratuity helps the people behind the wait staff uniforms to feed their own families.

Happy eating!

Best,
Alisha Forrester Scott, Owner
La Ruche. event design studio.

You can e-mail AFS at: studio@enterlaruche.com

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Preparing the Bridal Suite

I want to focus on a topic that is not discussed often, if at all - preparing your Bridal Suite.  If you can imagine a wedding day filled with non-stop action and passion, tears, and excitement, you can then imagine the "crash" that many couples feel once they leave the reception to head back to their Bridal Suite for their first night  together as a new couple.  This post is dedicated to making your overnight stay "post-wedding" a comforting success. If you are unable to prep by completing the tasks described below, perhaps you can ask a trusted friend or family member not in the wedding party to accommodate.

During your planning phase, consider the following questions and suggestions and how they will relate to your post-wedding overnight accommodations experience:

What will you eat? You may have just spent eight to ten hours looking and acting perfect, and perhaps you did not feel like or did not get a chance to eat at your own reception.  You’ll likely feel like consuming something light, something healthy, something without sugar or caffeine. Consider packing a meal to have waiting in the room, or better yet pre-order room service with your ideal meal. Remember, indulge yourselves…you don’t have to eat the same thing if you don’t want to!  If all else fails (or you forget to plan this part) you can always just order in pizza or Chinese and be less formal. Just make sure that you are able to find napkins and plates.

What will you drink? First, something hydrating, then perhaps something soothing. Whether a cup of tea or a night cap, have your favorite beverages and the proper equipment (ice, cups/glasses, tea, etc.) waiting for you in your room. Keep in mind that if you order alcohol from the hotel bar you can expect a price mark-up of literally at least 100% - A $35 magnum of Grey Goose will be marked-up as high as $100 - so plan accordingly.)

What will you listen to or watch? (Hint: not TV)…but maybe a movie you both like playing in the background? (Will you need a DVD player?) What if you want to listen to a favorite CD, or what if you have packed along your mp3 player and some little speakers (will you need your charger or batteries?)?

What will you want to smell? Soothing scents can enhance nearly everyone’s experience, no matter the situation. Consider bringing along some scented candles, incense, or room fragrance. Soothing scents such as lavender or vanilla will help your post-wedding transition.

What will help you to relax? Perhaps your idea of relaxation is popping open a beer, or perhaps you are anticipating sore feet and muscles.  To relieve a day’s worth of stress consider scheduling an in-room double massage for you and your sweetie. Believe me, there are companies that offer this in-room service - be sure to ask your concierge for a referral. (Don’t feel bad if you both find yourselves totally unwound and napping during the massage!) If a professional massage is out of the question, give each other a little rub-down (at least your feet!).

What type of lighting is present? Candlelight is most flattering, white (holiday) lights are magical. Whatever your lighting preference consider using dramatic lighting.  There is a chance that the room you are staying in has adjustable lighting (which means no extra work for you), so be sure to ask. Important: if you are going to bring candles make sure that you bring candle plates or holders to catch the melted dripping wax…you don’t want to have to pay for room damage.  Also, make sure that they have a fire extinguisher in the room (or at least nearby) for unforeseeable emergencies.

What will you want to wear? If you have packed something sexy to ‘play’ in, don’t forget to pack something new and comfortable to sleep in. Sleeping in your ‘everynight’ pajamas is not exciting, so consider purchasing a new pajama set…it will make your first married nights sleep a huge and special success.

Take a nap. Seriously. Whoever "invented" sex immediately following post-wedding may have been unwilling to discuss the sheer exhaustion which tries to infiltrate most newly married couples bedrooms. Before you both completely unwind for the evening, consider setting an alarm or scheduling a wake-up call with the front desk, and then settle down for a nice mid-sized nap. Once you wake-up you can shower or bathe and then begin the next phase of your night together.

The formal wake-up call . Perhaps you have brunch with your family scheduled for the next morning, or perhaps you are both going to get a massage. Be sure to call the front desk for a wake-up call, or be sure to pack and bring your own alarm to set, or have one of your friends call your hotel room. You won’t want to oversleep if you have plans for the next morning.

Do Not Disturb (DND ). If you end up getting into bed late (and waking-up late) you won’t want to be disturbed by the hotel staff trying to clean so be sure to place the DND sign on the door and enjoy. Another form of DND will be to hold your phone calls (call the front desk to request this), or simply unplug your hotel room phone. Don’t forget to turn-off your cell phones. You’ve earned a night together without any outside interruptions.

Enjoy your first night together!

Best,
Alisha Forrester Scott
La Ruche. event design studio.

You can reach AFS by e-mailing: studio@enterlaruche.com

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Tips for the People-Pleasing Bride (or Groom)

Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion. Just because you want to make the people you love happy does not mean you have to cover up what you think and feel. If you really don’t like orange as your main wedding color, but your mother-in-law to be keeps telling you it would make everything look even better, then just tell her the truth. Of course, you don’t have to be mean about it! Simply tell her something like, “I’ve given it a lot of thought and I really just think the color pink (or green or blue, etc.) would reflect our personalities more.” If she keeps talking up orange, you know you tried and don’t have to feel bad when you don’t use orange on your big day.

Don’t be afraid to put your foot down. It can be hard, it’s very true. But putting your “foot down” is something you need to learn sooner or later! Do you just plan to pay for an overpriced cake? Are you going to “just this once” let your mother decide which dress (or tux) you’ll buy (or rent) or what flowers you’ll use? What about wedding party members that don’t like the way you have the day scheduled? You’ve put a lot of time and effort into making your wedding day the way you and your love want it (we hope), so don’t let other people change your mind or make you second guess yourself. Put that pretty little foot down and say “NO”!

You can’t make all of the people happy all of the time. If you’re a people-pleasing person, you’ve hopefully already come to terms with this. You really can’t make everyone happy all of the time (even though you may try and try). It’s just not possible. All you can do … is do your best! Make the decisions you feel are right and stick to ‘em. If someone gets upset about a tiny detail, you did what you could and that’s that. Don’t let yourself feel bad about it!

You may regret or resent not fighting for what you want. If you don’t at least try to get what you want (within reason) for your wedding day, you may regret it. If you end up with flowers you didn’t like (but your mom did) and bridesmaids dresses that just weren’t that great (but your girls loved them) and your hair…well, let’s just say you can’t believe you look like this on your wedding day (but your stylist said it will be perfect), you may be overcome with disappointment - on one of the happiest days of your life. And the last thing you want to be thinking about as you walk down the aisle (or as you’re waiting at the end of it) is how you should have just said “No” to this or that or “Sorry, but we’re doing this instead”.

Bottom line : It’s your wedding. It’s true. If you and your man (or woman) are happy, then that’s what really matters.

Just a few more tips:

-Don’t really feel comfortable stating your opinion or saying no? Hire someone to do it for you. That is just one of the many ways a wedding planner can come in handy. If you feel comfortable enough telling her (or him) what you do and do not like, she can help you get what you want and save you from putting up with those things that you don’t want.

-If there are a lot of people around when you’re trying to make a decision, it can get rough and tricky to say what you really want to say. For instance, if you’re meeting with your florist and mom, future MIL, and three of your BM are there (and they all want different flowers), ask if you can chat with the florist alone for a few minutes (or tell her you’ll call her back with the final order). This way, you can be honest without being afraid of hurting anyone’s feelings.

-Do some wedding planning alone or with only your future spouse. You can make decisions together. After all, the wedding is a reflection of the two of you.

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All Dressed Up : Where to Start

So many fabulous things out there to dream about and search for and try on and purchase! But where to begin? Let’s think about it logically.

Vera Wang

Often, The Gown determines just about everything else. If you REALLY want to tie the day together, you’ll consider the event space (ceremony and reception locations) when deciding on the style of your dress, not just your body type and personal preferences. But after you have found The One, what’s next?

Grace Footwear

We’d start with shoes. They will be needed for alterations and may or may not be seen under your dress, so they are important to consider (especially if being seen). Also, they will determine if you’re two or three inches taller than normal and how much pain you’ll be in at the end of the night (only half kidding!). Details in your shoes (and of course, your dress) may be things you’d like to reflect in your other accessories.

Altered Bride

On to the veil! Now you know how simple or intricate your dress and shoes are, so look into finding a veil that compliments them! Generally, the more simple the dress, the more wiggle room you have for a fancy veil. Long, short? Classic, chic? Blusher or no blusher? Knowing what it is paired with will narrow down your choices.

Kenneth Jay Lane, Photo by Michael David Adams via Brides.com

So now you have the big ticket items (between the above you’ll want to find undergarments - don’t forget about those!). Time for the little things! With the overall look, what kind of jewelry would look best? Lots or little? Intricate or simple? Not every bride needs earrings, a necklace, and a bracelet! If your gown has a fancy neckline, consider skipping a necklace altogether! Sometimes less truly is more.

From the oh-so-fabulous Chlorine!

And don’t forget about the baubles and doodads like a clutch to in which to keep all of your must-have wedding day items!

What was (or has been) your favorite thing to look for/shop for/try on/purchase for your wedding day ensemble? What else would you consider essential to any bride’s wedding day look?

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Keep it Original

Getting married is one thing. Planning a wedding is another. We will just assume you are getting married for the “right reasons” and that you’ve put all that serious thought into the life-changing decision. On to the “fun” part!

I believe that to some extent, everyone wants to be original when it comes to her wedding. It can be difficult to come up with original ideas when you get inspiration from magazines and tv and the Internet (and let me tell ya’, there is a LOT of wedding stuff out there). Then throw in designers that lead and follow trends and a few vendors that lack a bit of creativity, and you’ve got bland, done-before wedding that’s more ew than you! How do you avoid such a catastrophe? A few things to keep in mind:

If it doesn’t reflect you and your personal style, it’ll be less memorable. Ever been to a wedding that was just so/so? You don’t really remember it much because there wasn’t much that tied the day to the Bride and Groom. Letting your personal touches show throughout the day will leave your stamp, and will be something that your guests will remember.

Think outside of the ring box in everything from fashion to food to decoration. Working with a tiny budget? You don’t have to spend lots to get something “unique”. Buy simple dresses and spice them up with hand-made accessories or “extras”. Get a simple cake and add your own personal decorations. Reception centerpieces don’t need to be made up of flowers and candles! And you definitely don’t need to serve chicken and green beans for dinner!

Do what feels comfortable to you…and most of your guests. Love your pooch to pieces? Insist that Fifi walk down the aisle as the flower girl, or Fido as the ring bearer? Do it! Always dreamed of getting married beneath the stars, late at night? Don’t let anyone stop you. As long as it’s what you want and something that won’t make your guests uncomfortable (ie asking all your guests to throw on an air tank so you can tie the knot under water….probably asking a lot unless they are all diving enthusiasts), go for it. If nothing else, it will be memorable.

Don’t be afraid to go for something a little unexpected. Just because your brilliant idea isn’t “traditional” doesn’t mean it won’t be fabulous!

Keep a secret or two from your family, friends and guests. Thinking about making your grand exit in a helicopter? Planning on singing a song for your new spouse at the reception? Go for it! If it doesn’t happen, no one will know!

image form Susie’s Scrumptious Sweets

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A Sweet Poem

Happy Monday! This is a short but sweet post of a poem from a beloved poet of mine, Anne Bradstreet. This would be a sweet note to send your love just before you walk down the aisle, the day after your wedding…or on your 50th wedding anniversary. You get the idea.

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were lov’d by wife, then thee.
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole Mines of gold
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that Rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompetence.
Thy love is such I can no way repay.
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let’s so persevere
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

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Bubble Hem

I love these! Though I call them “pumpkin skirts” or “pumpkin dresses”, I’m pretty sure the proper term is a dress or skirt with a “bubble hem”. They are fun and flirty, but not too “out there”. You can tie them into many themes (and by themes I mean wedding “vibe” or the overall feel you’re going with)! Go wild!

Charles Nolan

Ulla Maija

And perhaps a little something for the bridesmaids or rehearsal dinner:

Vera Wang

Neiman Marcus

*GOOD DEAL!* Forever 21

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Favorite Updos

Loosely pinned up, with a flower tucked in just so. Formal but not fussy.

Photo by Matthew Jordan Smith

Fresh and breezy, perfect for a beach bash or late afternoon soirée.

Photo by Daniela Stallinger

A bouffant style ‘do with a few loose curls on the side,

Photo by Kevin Cremens

A low bun is perfect for keeping the hair out of your face. It’s girly yet formal.

Photo by Kevin Cremens

Probably my favorite style right now! Classic, elegant. With bangs framing the face and a sparky accessory or a headband, you just can’t go wrong! A veil can be attached near the top of the head (before the “puff” begins) for a retro look or closer to the neck (this placement would be best for a veil that won’t be going over your face) for a more modern look.

Photo by Peter Buckingham

Photos from Brides…I’m obsessed! SUCH great examples.

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Out or In : Tiaras

I’m going to have to say out. But not necessarily entirely. I was clicking around NewportWeddings and stumbled across this post, which sprouted this post idea.

Yes, tiaras are worn by royalty and beauty queens, and on your wedding day, shouldn’t you feel like both?! Of course (if you want)! But! Alas, it is my belief that you don’t need a tiara to feel like either. The idea of the tiara, I feel, is less of a bejeweled piece of metal for the top of the head, and more of a something complimentary, not-something-you-wear-everyday piece of bridal “equipment”. So, if you insist on wearing something atop your head on your day, but don’t necessarily want to look like your headpiece was delivered to you on a pillow, perhaps these ideas will help!

What I like to call “Spanish Royalty”, old style number one. I think the main idea with this one is lots of “bling”. But bling, my friends, can be done in many different ways. One of my favorites, I’ve posted just below this image.

How about the “Princess” tiara? One could argue that ALL tiaras are of the princess classification, but I think ones like these are particularly “princessy”. So, an idea I love can be seen in the second picture. For something fresh and girly, try going for a headband with multiple bands or just a hint of sparkle.

And lastly, though the post could include many more than three, what I’d deem a “whimsical” tiara. I’d say that these pieces are “less organized” and have that airy, light, look to them. While they may look similar, how you wear each can give you a completely different style! Take the pictures below for example. Somewhat similar beaded look, completely different bridal feel!

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Wedding Dresses : Retro to Modern

Vintage. Classic. Timeless. There is just something about [some] “old stuff” that I find irresistible. This especially holds true in the world and history of weddings. I saw a post over at Peonies and Polaroids about retro swim wear (which I really wish could come completely back into fashion) which has inspired this post. I hope you like it.

The retro “Princess Bride”:

*From Millie Motts

The modern dress:

*From Michelle Roth

The retro “Full Skirt & Bolero Jacket”:

*From Millie Motts

The modern dress (minus the jacket):

*From Vera Wang

The retro “Dress with Sleeves”:

*From Millie Motts

The modern dress:

*From Badgley Mischka

The retro “Glam Dress”:

*From VAM.ac.uk

The modern dress:

*From Hannah Hartnell

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